Sunday, March 16, 2008

I’m Ignorant About Whores & The Whore Industry (Part 2 of 2)

(read Part 1 here)

I was 8-years-old when I had my first encounter with a hooker. I was walking to the stadium with my family to watch a Pirates baseball game when a scantily dressed woman approached my father. Now keep in mind my Dad was walking with my Mom and 3 young children, but that didn’t stop this woman from trying to set up a date in broad daylight on a Sunday afternoon. I was a naive child and looking back, I’m thankful for that. I didn’t know what a hooker was. My Dad built houses for a living, so I thought it was some lady he built a house for and she wanted to say hi. I just assumed he knew her, that was until my Mom quickly whisked me away from the situation. She was trying to shield my eyes...and protect herself from the questions that would surely follow. "Mom, who is that lady? How’s Dad know her?" Somehow my Dad managed to save her from my inquisitiveness by distracting me. I remember him snatching the adult sized outfields glove I was wearing and playfully slapping the leather over my cranium. One way to avoid a question is to ask a question and he asked me how I was going to catch a ball with a mitt bigger than my head.

Later in high school, I would question the girl who sat beside me in homeroom. I asked if she had finished her Biology take-home-test. Her reply shocked me..."Yeah, Jason is doing mine. I told him if he got me at least a B on it, I would blow him." Damn, I could have got her an A on it for a BJ! Of course I didn’t say that, but I did think to myself that her deal with Jason sounded an awful lot like prostitution. Money wasn’t exchanged, but services were. Like Bill Clinton, she didn’t see oral sex as sex, therefore she didn’t see that she was selling herself.

Fast forward in my life to when I was fresh out of college. I would take a job with the #1 tech startup in the city. Four Carnegie Mellon grads would co-found the company and become multi-millionaires almost overnight, one of which would turn out to be my mentor for future business deals and help me get my own startup company off the ground. When it comes to business, he’s an innovative genius. When it comes to social skills, he’s an uncouth caveman. I cringed at a company picnic when he dropped the F-bomb a total of 7 times in just 2 sentences...and this infront of the wives and small children of his employees. I was so embarrassed for him that I found myself actually apologizing to total strangers for his crude behavior. Later he would utilize an escort service when it came to finding a date for the company’s Christmas party. Here he was, the head of the company, dressed in a tux and had a hooker on his arm. And despite his wealth, she wasn’t even a high-class escort either. She screamed "paid for" with small funds, from her sprayed out hair and thick caked on makeup, down to her cleavage/naval cut dress and clear stripper shoes. I can’t say I was surprised he couldn’t get a legit date. After all, he is brazenly arrogant and ill mannered, not qualities most women admire in a man. But couldn’t he at least pony up the cash for a girl that would have blended in a little better? It was obvious, he didn't give a fuck what people thought and wanted a date that was a guaranteed fuck.

When it comes to sex, I can see why many politians pay for it or find themselves caught up in some type of sex scandal. They are usually 40+ year-old men who are in a mid-life crisis mode. They spend their days and nights lobbying in stuffy suits with other equally stuffy suits, while their every move and word is carefully scrutinized under a magnifying glass. I can sort of understand why they are busting at the seams to shed that reserved demeanor and get their freak on. Although, I also feel it has to do with the power kick factor. These are men in powerful positions. Men who not only use, but also abuse that power to get what they want. It’s similar to a cop who exercises his God-like complex when issuing a speeding ticket to a young women, but offers not to cite her if she performs a sexual favor on him. I’ve come to realize that those who make the rules or try to enforce the rules, are usually the ones that go about breaking them.

Being in the "geek industry" myself, I can’t tell you how many of my Dot.Com comrades turn to escort services. It’s so easy these days to find a call girl. You no longer have to stroll down a dark alley. You just jump on the information superhighway and click your way over to sites like Craigslist – well known for their plethora of escorts, especially if you live in the Bay Area. You do the math. Bay Area + Silicon Valley = Geeks Galore. Most geeks are introverted by nature and because of that, many simply lack the confidence and social skills needed to pick up a girl the old fashion way. So they result to "ordering" themselves a girlfriend online.

It’s not just the stuffy politians or the socially awkward geeks that are utilizing prostitutes, it’s seems like just about every man in America (and overseas for that matter) is. Or maybe it’s just that everywhere I look lately, a hooker is attached to the hip of the traveling businessman, replacing the briefcase. On a recent trip to NYC, I felt almost out of place on a short ferry ride across the Hudson. There were only a total of 3 other guys on the ferry with me, none of which were together, but yet all 3 had a hooker on their arm. I never knew Newark’s Sheradon hotel housed so many whores. Each time I got on the elevator, a new man and a new hooker were checking in. I was beginning to wonder if I was staying at a brothel. I also began wondering if it would be more sanitary to lay my head in the streets of Chinatown as compared to my hotel bed.

Honestly, I wonder how they do it – not just the prostitutes, but the Johns themselves. I would be scared to death of picking up some STD. Whether it’s a $10 trick or a $10,000 trick, there’s always a good chance you’ll get ripped off. And if you do get robbed, there’s not much you can do about it. It’s not like anyone is going to feel sorry for you for being mugged by a hoe and anyone with half a brain wouldn’t report it to law enforcement. Plus, who’s to say that the girl you thought you were getting isn’t actually an undercover cop, or even worse, a dude! And let’s not forget the lifelong embarrassment and loser tag attached to you if you happen to get caught paying for sex. I may no longer be that naive 8-year-old boy, but personally, I’m going to stick to the old fashion way of meeting a girl.

Although, when you think about it, we have all whored ourselves out to some extent at one point or another in our lives. Now you may not have been so bold as to place an ad offering sex, but if you are brutally honest with yourself and you dissect some of your past, I’m quite certain you will find an instance where you’ve given sex in exchange for something. That "something" probably seemed innocent at the time. Something like...if I do some extra kinky stuff with my boyfriend a few days prior to my birthday, then he will be more likely to buy me those diamond earnings I want. Perhaps you would have been having sex those days anyway, but you felt it was necessary to turn it up a notch, to ensure you did everything in your power to get what you wanted.

A friend of mine jokes with me and calls me a "man-whore". She’s kidding, but really there may be some truth to that. I’m no different than anyone else. I too have whored myself out before. At the time I didn’t see it as such, but looking back, it could be considered whoring. I was looking to buy a new car and the salesgirl made me an offer I couldn’t refuse – fuck her right then and there and I would get the car at dealer cost. Her thinking was...why spend time negotiating numbers back in her office when we could settle a deal during the test drive. My thinking was...why say no to two things I wanted anyway – her and an M3 at an unbelievable price. She was young, sexy, exotic looking and nearly impossible to resist. So did I whore myself out? Did she? Or did we both just use one another for a cheap thrill? There are many shades of gray to situations like these, but one thing is certain...

Sex, it’s a powerful thing and whether you want to admit it or not, you have used sex to your advantage. You may not grind for the bill, but I’ll bet you’ve gotten your way by using sex, even if it is just the allurement of sex. Whoring, it’s as American as baseball and apple pie. And we are all guilty of being whores.

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