Super Sexist Bowl? STFU

When this year’s Super Bowl matchup was announced, Saints vs Colts, I renamed it to the Super Snooze. I felt it would lack that action packed, hard-nosed, 60 minutes of thrilling NFL football I was accustom to watching. I’m happy to report that I was wrong. The game was actually competitive and pretty exciting! And the commercials weren’t too shabby either...or at least that was my personal opinion when I went into work on Monday morning. I figured there would be Peyton Manning fans whining, but what I didn't expect were women to be shouting sexism! Sexism, really? I’m sorry, the ads are only seen as sexist if you twist the humor out of them. So lighten up. They aren’t sexist. They are geared toward men! So if you’re not a man, there is a good chance you wouldn’t enjoy something geared to men. Correct? That’s why women subscribe to Cosmo and not Maxim. So what makes you think the Super Bowl should be the exception to that rule? I wouldn’t tune into the Oxygen channel or the Lifetime Movie Network and expect the commercials there to be geared toward me.

Let me make something clear to everyone. Football, just like any other televised event/show, has a target audience. The NFL marketing demographic is aimed at males ages 18-34. That is their target audience, who is tuning into the games. So it's only smart business for advertisers to create commercials that appeal to the vast majority of NFL fans, males ages 18-34. Needless to say, young adult males are into beer, tits, technology, cars, and potty humor. This is why when you watch football, and especially the Super Bowl, you see ads for Bud, big breasted GoDaddy.com girls and muscle cars. Sexist? No. Smart!

The cost for a 30-second commercial during this year's Super Bowl was $2.6 million! Do you really think any company would waste that kind of cash on a commercial that doesn't grab the attention of males ages 18-34, their target audience? If you were selling Tampax tampons, you would air your ad during "Oprah." If you were selling Viagra, you would air your ad during re-runs of "Murder She Wrote." And if you were selling Zhu-Zhu Pets you would air your ad during "Dora The Explorer." Women, you’re more than welcome to watch the game with men. Although you will never see any man scream "SEXIST" if a woman makes a remark about how tight the QB’s butt looks or how you live in Florida, but you’re rooting for the NY Jet’s simply because Mark Sanchez is cute.

Football is a game filled with testosterone, blood and sweat. Men behaving like beasts! Wrestling and roughing each other up in a battle of strength and strategy. So don’t be surprised (or complain) that watching football makes me want to eat meat, drink beer and burp. It brings out the animal in us. Personally, I think it’s healthy to hang with the boys and yell "FUCK" during bad ref calls. I also think it’s perfectly normal for me to drool over two hot chicks in lingerie making out. And it’s perfectly normal that I want to jump up and cheer when I see a man taking a stand for himself instead of being emasculated by an over controlling woman. If that makes me a caveman or a sexist pig, so be it.

FloTV (watch here) takes a regular Joe Schmoe and states that his girlfriend removed his spine, made him go shopping instead of "letting him" stay home to watch the game. They then encourage him to change out of his skirt and get a FloTV so he can watch sports on the go, AKA in the mall. In another ad, Dockers (watch here) incorporates a slogan that is as old as the day is long when it comes to relationships. They’re calling all men and instructing them that "it’s time to wear the pants." We all know what that means! But it was Dodge Chrysler's Super Bowl spot (watch here) that got feminists fired up the most! Titled "Man's Last Stand," the narrator is as bold as they come, saying...

I will get up and walk the dog at 6:30AM. I will eat some fruit as part of my breakfast. I will shave. I will clean the sink after I shave. I will be at work by 8am. I will sit through two hour meetings. I will say yes when you want me to say yes. I will be quiet when you don't want to hear me say no. I will take your call. I will listen to your opinion of my friends. I will listen to your friends' opinions of my friends. I will be civil to your mother. I will put the seat down. I will separate the recycling. I will carry your lip balm. I will watch your vampire TV shows with you. I will take my socks off before getting into bed. I will put my underwear in the basket. And because I do this, I will drive the car I want to drive.

Know why this is funny? Because ALL men have felt this way before! If you haven't, then you must not be married, haven't talked to married men, or haven't been in any type of relationship long enough to experience this robot-like lifestyle. It's like being a shell of a man where you lose the balls to say no or disagree. You simply do as you're told because thinking on your own and doing what you want causes too much drama in your relationship. And you hate drama! Therefore you rather just say "yes dear" and go with whatever she says like a zombie. You do this because you love her and want to make her happy, even though living this way makes you miserable! Then finally something comes along, in this case the car you've always wanted, that makes you finally put your foot down. You realize you take enough shit and do enough for her. So it's time to do something for yourself. I WILL DRIVE THE CAR I WANT TO DRIVE!

I can't say I like Dodge Chargers, but I love this commercial because I've always said I will refuse marriage or get divorced before any woman forces me to buy a car I don't want. I will NEVER own a minivan! There are lots of things I will compromise on, but my car is just not one of them. And I don’t care if any women thinks my Ducati is impractical either. My sportbike is like my Bulldog. Both will stay and you will go.

I am man. Hear me roar.



PS (I secretly loved the Google commercial best of all! It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I guess that makes me a sexist pig with a soft center?)