I’m usually cool, calm and collected when meeting a girl. It is rare that a girl rattles me and I become tongue tied or trip over myself, but as much as I hate to admit it, it has happened before. I’m told I can be quite the charmer. Although I can also be quite the idiot. I’m usually pretty smooth. And it was going smoothly until I closed with "grood". Any idea what "grood" is? Apparently it’s the made-up gibberish that comes from my mouth when I clumsily try to say "great" and "good" at the same time. It is combined to give you "grood". So much for my smooth talking ways.
Yes, I know what I MEANT to say. Don't taunt me, Google.
I couldn’t recover from it. It came out loud and clear. Grood – she heard it. There was no mistaking what I said. Usually when I make a total jackass out of myself, I don’t try to cover it up. Instead I draw more attention to it by making fun of myself. Afterall, what else can you do? Everyone knows you just did something stupid. And everyone accidently does stupid things from time to time. It’s what makes us human. It’s what makes us real. So why not just embrace your stupidity and laugh at yourself? Besides, they are going to be laughing at you anyway so you might as well join them.
There was a movie called "Mean Girls" that stared Lindsey Lohan. In the film, she was invited to a party by a boy she had a crush on. During the awkward encounter, she accidently said "grool" (a combination of great and cool) in response to his invite. Needless to say, she felt like dying. However, that was just a movie. It didn’t really happen. It was all scripted and she was just a high school kid. Sadly in my case, my life isn’t scripted and I’m not some dingy high school girl. I’m a grown man with an unscripted life who managed to curb his random rambling, but can’t seem to escape painful pitiful moments. According to UrbanDictionary.com "grood" is actually a slang word. They claim it’s a mixture of both "great" and "good" used by the Cheerleader in Teen Girl Squad. (Ah, who?) It’s seems to have originated from a spelling mistake. Oh great. We already know I can’t spell, but what’s even worse is that I can’t even speak properly now!
I’m definitely a guy that tries not to take himself or life too seriously. I have no problem being the target of playful teasing. I’m always a good sport about it and I can take what I dish out. I like to laugh and I like to be surrounded by people that make me laugh. I find the more I laugh on a daily basis, the better I feel, the happier I am. There’s no doubt that laugher is a great ice-breaker, but if the ice is already broken and "assanity" (another word I just made-up that means the state of being an ass) ensues, then what? Is that a deal breaker? I’m not the type of guy to use a line to pick up a girl, but I do believe in a good closure. So if I close the conversation with the word "grood", is that a deal breaker? Let’s face it, it’s the last thing she will remember me by – the guy that says "grood". Ugh. Humiliation.
As soon as "grood" passed my lips, inside I immediately yelled at myself..."You stupid idiot! You just blew it!" For whatever reason, I froze. Instead of making fun of myself and poking fun at an embarrassing situation, I just stood there like a total moron to further humiliate myself. I couldn’t believe I just said what I did. I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes for a second, like I was absorbing a good swift kick to the nuts. Outside it may be 90+ degrees in the sun, but inside, my body felt like it just reached a sweltering 150. When she turns and walks away, I WILL be kicking myself, hard and repeatedly.
However, to my surprise, she paused for a moment. She didn’t turn and walk or run away. She too bit her bottom lip, but unlike me, she didn’t do it to cope with the humiliation. She did it to hold back a giggle that was on the verge of busting loose. Her lip biting quickly parted to form a sweet little smile. Was that the look of compassion on her face? I was waiting for her to be a smartass and say "it was grood meeting you", but she didn’t say that. Instead she gave me a playful slap on my arm and slid her hand down towards mine before pulling the pen from between my fingers. "Here, let me give you my number. Just in case."
Is it possible she found my "assanity" endearing? I didn’t have to ask for her number. She just gave it, offered it out there as if I didn’t just say the word "grood". Perhaps my embarrassed flush cheeks made me cuter to her? Or maybe she just found pity upon my stupid mouth. Whatever the case may be, I know that women tell their girlfriends everything! So it’s only a matter of minutes before she gets a hold of one of them and cracks up about this. The ridiculing will mostly likely open up with..."Hey, I met this really grood guy today." Or "Hey, I met the biggest jackass today." I'm sure people will not let me live this down so I might as well embrace my stupid mouth.
I like to think my mistakes and flaws give me character - make me unique, adorable and loveable. But some may now argue that they only make me borderline retarded. Mama says think before speaking. I should take her advice and avoid being another social casualty. Although this time, it still managed to work out rather grood.
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