Net Addicted Hubby Has Hand Amputated!

Remember the Lorraine Bobbit fiasco? She caught her husband cheating and decided to eliminate the problem once and for all…by cutting off his penis! Well, I suppose that’s one way to solve infidelity in a marriage. Of course, two wrongs don’t make a right, but try telling that to a psycho holding a butcher knife. I’m sure someone out there has kept a national record of cheating statistics - the percentage on average that people cheat in a relationship. If such a record exists, I’ve always wondered if there was an immediate decline after Lorraine Bobbit’s story spread. Let’s be honest, no woman in history has managed to scare the shit out of men more than her! And it is rather sick, but somewhat understandable, that most women cheered and laughed when she “cut it off”. To this day, I still cringe when I hear her name.

Well move over Lorraine, there’s another psycho bitch in town and her name is “He Ling” from China. She has amputated her husband's right hand after catching him video chatting to girls at a local Internet cafe. Let me remind you – he was chatting, not cheating. Her husband, Jiang Ming, had promised he would spend time with his new son in preference to the net. Apparently that promise was not fulfilled to his wife’s liking. So a chopping she went!

"I was on the Internet and suddenly felt numbness in my right hand. The arrow on the screen stopped moving. Then I found that my right hand was on the mouse pad and blood was shooting out.”

Despite his injury, Ming asked the judge to be lenient with his wife (cough, dumbass). He admitted that he broke his promise so it was his fault (cough, pussy whipped). The judge has yet to announce his verdict. It’s true, a woman can train and control a man. Although, owning Rambo’s meat cleaver certainly helps the process along.

So let’s get this straight. Cheat = have penis chopped off. Surf the net too much = have hand chopped off. So what happens if you surf the net for porn? Is it a 2 for 1 deal/punishment? Say ba-bye to hand AND penis? Well I suppose that would be called being proactive, as it would also solve an excessive masturbation problem one may encounter in the future.

Hey, here's a noble idea...don't get married. Your penis, your hand and all other body parts will remain attached to your single status body. I imagine you will also retain your sanity. I'm sorry for Ming's sake, my advice comes a little too late.