Few things in life are more entertaining than watching girls get completely wasted and making idiots out of themselves. Sure guys get trashed sometimes too and can be rather humorous as well, but it's just not as entertaining as when it happens to a girl. And the classier girl, the better! All her inhibitions go right out the window. All her poise and grace and good manners were drowned in a tequila shot and slammed down Coyote Ugly style. Take the most prim and proper girl you know and if she gets the right amount of booze in her (or I should say an OVER amount), you will see her transform into a sloppy drunken fool right before your very eyes. Although, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's actually quite entertaining to onlookers. It's unscripted comedy at it's finest...and of course ugliest. Here is a prime example of such a case.
After a long night out partying, a group of guys and girls decided to continue the drinking festivities at a friend's house. One girl in particular had way too much to drink. Who is to say what the rest of her night entailed, we can only guess. Although I do know this, she awoke in the morning still drunk! She hadn't even made it to the hangover stage, that would undoubtedly arrive later in the day. Feeling nauseated, she went to find the bathroom. While hugging the porcelain throne, she came to a brilliant discovery, or so she thought in her inebriated haze. She believed that because she felt nauseas and had been throwing up in the morning, that to her it could only mean one thing - I'm pregnant! I can't say what was running thru her head at this point, but whatever foggy thought passed thru her brain wasn't brilliant, to say the least. She had pretty much drank away any last functioning brain cells she had left. And what she did next, was proof of just that.
While in the bathroom on her knees...which may be a clue as to how she misread puking from drinking too much, to her being pregnant. Being on her knees may of triggered a flashback memory from the prior evening's late night activities? Anyway, while in the bathroom on her knees, she saw a white strip on the counter, which she thought to be a pregnancy test. So she peed on it. When finished, she came out of the bathroom and showed it to her friends in hopes they could figure out the test result.
According to EPT (the "Error Proof Test" or for many it should be the "Idiot Proof Test") reading your results are very simple. 2 lines, you're pregnant. 1 line, you're not pregnant (and don't ask me how I know that). Sounds simple, right? Well when this drunk girl took the pregnancy test, the test results were awfully hard to determine. That's because it turned out to be an iPod Nano, not a pregnancy test stick! She peed on a iPod Nana! I have to admit there is a similarity between an iPod Nano and an EPT stick. Ok, not really and I hate to admit I've seen worse. So what happened to the iPod? It stopped working, obviously. The owner tried to send it in for warranty repairs, only to be informed that "the warranty does not cover pee-related damage". Can you believe Apple doesn't cover pee-related damage? Next you will tell me Apple doesn't cover something like puke-related damaged products! Now it's just absurd that Apple hasn't done something to insure bodily fluids are fully covered in all iPod warranties.
And what happened to the girl you ask? I don't know if she turned out to be pregnant or not, but who really cares? With that embarrassing true tale of hers floating around the net, it's probably safe to assume she won't be showing her face out in public for awhile. She will resort to getting drunk at home. Of course things could be worse. She should be happy she isn't the doctor that told one family their daughter is dead and another family their daughter is in a coma, only later to discover he had the daughters mixed up! That's actually not funny at all, but this is...
What about the black swan that fell deeply in love with a white swan only to learn their love could never be! No, there isn't any racial swan discrimination law. White and black swans alike can all drink out of the same water fountain, I mean lake. The heart break is the swooning swan doesn't realize he is trying to swoon a paddle boat! Yes, a giant sized wooden paddle boat made to look like a beautiful white swan. Apparently looks can be deceiving and he has fallen for her bodacious "carved" feathers. Aww. I feel for this little guy. Moral of the story...life can be a bitch, but that's why there's alcohol. Now go drink and be merry. And where is that love sick swan? I want to buy him a drink. I think he could use it when I break the news to him.
