Your Girl's Vibrator Is Your Friend, Not Your Foe

Everyone knows diamonds are a girl’s best friend. But she also has other besties - like chocolate, flowers, designer shoes, pretty smelling things...and of course her vibrator. Now maybe girls don’t get themselves off as much as guys, but it’s no secret girls masturbate too. And any girl that says she doesn’t is either a liar or a giant prude! You do it. Guys know it. And we love it! Or maybe I should only speak for myself? Because the sad truth is some guys don’t love it. Yes, there are plenty of guys out there that are intimidated by your nightstand goodie drawer. Whether it be a vibrator, or a dildo, or a vibrating dildo, they freak out because they fear it will replace them. They worry they won’t be able to satisfy her like a high powered, long lasting, battery operated toy can. I disagree!

While my penis may not be able to vibrate at 9 different speeds like your We-Vibe can, your We-Vibe can't kiss you. It can't write you love letters or whisper in your ear. It can't take you out to dinner at night or spoon with you late into the morning. And it can't hold your hand proudly as it walks down the street. So take that We-Vibe! You're not all that! Well, actually maybe you are. Let’s just say I hear things. Lots of good things, especially on level 4! Word is you’re pretty ahhhmaaazing and you get the job done in record time. Still, I’m not intimidated by you. Anything you can do, I can do better. Plus, I don’t need plugged in and recharged. I am always ready for you and at your disposal, over and over again. Bonus - unlike you, I don't have a weird latex smell to me either.

I had a friend call me once in panic mode because his girlfriend wanted to go to an Adult Store with him. My reaction, "and this is a problem why?" I just could not understand him. There shouldn’t have even been a conversation about it, let alone an argument! So let me be clear. If she ever asks any of these questions, your response should be as follows...

• Watch a porn together? YES!
• Go to a strip club with me? YES!
• Try some sex toys out? YES!
• Construct a sex swing? YES!
• Use sex toys with sex swing? YES!
• Throw a midget, a whip and some chocolate syrup in the mix? Well yes, but let’s exclude the midget for now.

The point is, people need to expand their sexual horizons. Stop being so uptight and so scared. Nut up and have some damn confidence in yourself. And if you suck in bed, maybe this is the time to work on your skills before she dumps you (and your useless tongue and dick) for a Costco-sized value pack of AA batteries. Your girl’s vibrator is your friend, not your foe. You should be excited for her and encourage her naughty toy sessions. It’s normal. It’s healthy. It’s sexy! Seriously, do you have any idea how hot that is? If you think getting a lap dance from a stripper or watching two lesbians make-out is hot, you obviously haven’t heard play-by-play details of her pleasuring herself. Or even better, watched your girl pleasure herself infront of you! And chances are she will want you to join in and use it on her! Just thinking about that makes me happy in the pants!

Want to be good in bed? Then stop being selfish in bed. Your main goal should be pleasing her and worrying less about yourself. You should want to satisfy her by any means possible, even if it means you need to stop with the stupid ego and welcome a toy in.

Still nervous? Then get the We-Vibe. It's sex toy you can both use together while having sex. Fun for her. Fun for you. Fun for everyone! Nothing intimidating about that, right? Afterall, having sex with a vibrating vagina? Yes, please!

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Related Post: 8/9/06 - Get Your Groove On With "OhMiBod" (iPod Vibrator)