2 Things Women Always Say To Men, But Never Should

I want a memo to go out to all women all over the world. A memo stating the 2 things they always say to men, but never should! Two very important things that they ALL seem to say to me.

1. "I'm not crazy, I swear."
Don't ever say "I'm not crazy, I swear." Just having to convince me that you're not crazy tells me you ARE in fact crazy! And obviously you even know I think you're crazy because you're already apologizing, or rather excusing, any future crazy behavior you're about to show me. Besides, crazy people never think they're crazy. That's what makes them so crazy! Believe me, I have the best "cradar" (crazy radar) in town! I had a real life crazy chick that stalked me for years, which is why I can spot crazy a mile away! So by reinforcing the "I'm not crazy, I swear" statements you're only further perpetuating your crazy status.

Solution: Instead of saying anything crazy like that, maybe you should just try smiling quietly in a non-crazy way?

2. "I never do this."
The infamous "I never do this." If I had a dollar for every time a girl told me she never does this (ex: one-night-stand, e-mailing a stranger, etc.) I would be a rich, RICH man! Do you really expect me to believe that when you make pornstar Jenna Jameson look like a prude in comparison? And wanting it in your butt or asking if your hot girlfriend can join us doesn't help your innocent girl case either. Amature or first-timer you are not! You are just telling me you never do this so I don't think you're crazy or a slut. Just embrace your bad girl self and stop lying to me. You do this. You've done it before. And you'll do it again.

See, now that all that honesty is out on the table we can have a beautiful exchange!