Is Obama Already Failing To Deliver, Before Inauguration?

Today is the big day! It’s time to inaugurate the 44th President of The United States! Goodbye Mr. Bush. I can’t say the majority of us are sad to see you go, but I can say that a great deal of people are ecstatic to welcome in President-Elect Barack Obama! Love him or hate him, you have to admit that today is a pretty historic day and one that will be remembered for years to come. You’ll probably read about it in your future kid’s Social Studies textbook. And as you flip thru the pages, you’ll think back to the day that Americans swore in the first black President. I’ve always said you’ll see a black President before we see a woman President and I can now say "told ya so", but that’s not really what today is about. I like to believe it’s about change, more than it’s about color. I like to believe that we can’t fall any deeper into a recession, but rather begin rising back to the top. I like to believe we can find a peaceful solution to all the blood being shed in the Middle East. I like to believe that people won’t just care about the environment for the time being because it’s the "cool" thing to do, but understand it’s the right thing to do and are in it for the long haul, even if it ceases to be "cool" anymore. I like to believe all these things and so much more. I like to believe them because this is what our next President has asked me to believe in. I am hope. However he is a politian, a smooth talking one at that. And we all know politians lie, but can Obama break that mold? Can he speak the truth and deliver on his promises? I sure hope so, but forgive me if I am a bit cynical today. Why am I being David Downer on this monumental day? Well two words for you - puppy promise.

I believe a man should keep his word, especially to his own daughter. And if memory serves me correct, Obama did promise his daughter a puppy if he was elected. Well guess what? He’s been elected President and he’s moving into the White House today, so where’s the puppy? Huh? Huh! Someone answer me that! A promise is a promise and he promised. Dude, I voted for you. Don’t make me question your integrity already! When it comes to politics, I usually find myself more angry than excited over what is going on in Washington. But when Barack Obama came along, I started to get a little excited. I started to listen up more. I started weighing in on all the topics. And even despite the fact he’s going to tax my ass off, I still thought he was the best man for the job...and what a job he has before him! Honestly, who would want that job? For the past 8 years, we’ve been fucked more than Jenna Jamison. There is no doubt about it, our country is a disaster right now! And if Obama thinks he can tackle that mess, he sure can clean up the piss and shit of an 8-week-old puppy. But where is that mysterious puppy anyway?

I understand that picking out the right dog takes some time. You want to make sure you find the perfect match for your family, a pouch that fits your lifestyle. And I understand there are some special circumstances that the Obamas need to take into consideration, like their daughter being allergic. But here’s the thing, Barack Obama says he wants to find a dog that is non-allergenic and is not a "girly dog". I know he’s a smart man, but here’s a news flash for him - there is no such thing as a non-allergenic dog. Sure, people with allergies say they are more tolerant to non-shedding breeds, but it’s not the hair they are allergic to. It’s the skin scales below. Also non-shedding breeds tend to be, as Obama puts it, "girly dogs". Personally, I don’t see what the big deal is. Technically the dog is for your daughter and she’s a girl, so who cares if it’s a girly dog? Besides, there’s no reason a man can’t love a girly dog. Take it from me, someone who loved a girly dog for 18 years!

Just like the Obamas, as a kid I wanted a dog in the worst way, but my oldest sister was allergic. My parents were told a Bichon is a non-allergenic dog, so they bought her for me. They were trying to grant my wish, while at the same time, taking my sister’s allergies into consideration. Long story short, my sister was still highly allergic to the dog, but I loved that little fuzzball so much that I found a way to make it work. And if you’re worried you have to get it cut like some fu-fu show dog, don’t be. You can get it groomed in what’s called a "puppy cut", sort of manly right? If not, just get over it. Besides, you’re the President. It’s not like anyone is going to make fun by throwing a shoe at you or anything.

Bottom line...when your daughter asked you if the family could get a dog, your answer was "Yes, we can." So do it already! A promise is a promise. Make history by being the first politian who keeps his promise, starting today.

On a side note, I would like to suggest keeping today’s celebrations on the D-L. If you’re looking to improve the economy, a good place to start would be keeping your big bash a bit low key. I understand you’re kind of a big deal, but it’s also kind of a big deal that half the country has been forced to downgrade from filet minion to Ramen noodles for dinner. And while there are some things I may not approve of, like your bullet proof pimped out Presidential Cadillac Escalade, which is an excessive, gaudy gas guzzler in my opinion...I can understand why you are rolling in it. It’s probably that whole "buy American made cars" crap statement you are trying to make, right? You know my strong distaste for American cars, but you’re the President and not me. So roll around in what you want. However, I must say that I like the fact that you are turning the red carpet green - recycling it after. And as a fellow geek, I like the fact that you are STILL holding onto your Blackberry. From what I hear, they will need to pull it from your dead lifeless grip!

Just please remember this, today is the end of fun as you know it! So I’m glad you vacationed in Hawaii, played some golf, had gone surfing, etc. I say party it up while you can because when today’s celebration ends and you find yourself sitting down at your desk in the Oval Office for the first time, it’s real. You will be in charge on an entire nation! And if you thought cleaning up dog poo is a crappy job, you have no idea what is in store for you! Yes, you’ll be cleaning up shit, and lots of it. Shit you didn’t create, but shit you have to make clean again. It’s very much like being a pet owner. However, you are going to miss out on the best part. Because you failed to get that new puppy for your daughter on Move In Day, you will not have that soft furry head by your side. You won’t have the luxury of that calming pet to sooth you when times get tough and you are stressed to the max. You won’t have that happy wag, that gentle lick or those big brown eyes staring up at you. To him, you aren’t the President, you’re his best friend. The next 4 years are going to be rough! Couldn’t you use a best friend?