Thursday, January 24, 2008

I Hate When Women Are Right

“Twenty bucks says you couldn't stay away from me even if you wanted to.”

That’s what she said to me the other night. I found that statement a bit arrogant and rather irritating. I’m not sure she intended for it to come across that way, but it did. Was she calling me out for being emotionally weak? Because I’ll admit I haven’t been feeling like Superman lately and if anyone is aware of that, it’s her. And I think that is what bothered/hurt me the most. I feel like a fragile little flower that needs to be nurtured and cooed over to stay alive. It’s pathetic and ridiculous, this I know. But to state the obvious, to have her point this out to me in a sense, well that just fucking sucks. It’s a slap in the face that implies that I won’t be able to live without her. Or maybe it’s her that can’t live without me?

As soon as she said that to me, I felt like immediately replying with my own smartass comment, something along the lines of…“Wanna bet?” Ok, not the most brilliant way to articulate myself. I realized that and controlled my urge to lash out.

She seemed almost too sure of herself, like she was daring me to prove her wrong. To step up to the plate and challenge it. So now I have. I’ve taken the bet. And she will be forced to eat her own words. I’m going to hold strong, not because I want to, but because I have to. Despite the fact that she seems to have caved a bit, I’m not going to cave. Is it addiction? Infatuation? Lust? Love? I don’t know. I just know one thing…

I. Am. Not. Going. To. Cave.

Of course it hasn’t even been 24 hours and I’m breaking already. I feel like pulling a twenty out of my wallet and slapping it down on the table. I hate when women are right.

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