The Gadget Gods Deliver At CES 2008

CES 2008 can be summed up as a vile clusterfuck of nerds, sluts and suits…a deadly combo. Although with that deadly combo comes the most innovative minds that lead the way in technology by supplying the average Joe with a plethora of gadget goodness. And for that, I’m very thankful. CES runs for just 3 days in Las Vegas, but in that short time, literally thousands of gadgets were showcased. Of course being the tech whore that I am, 90% of them I wanted. Unfortunately, many are still prototypes and may never see production. That’s a sad, sad shame. However, the good news is that many of the gadgets will be hitting store shelves and those that won’t will be sent back to the drawing board for redesign and improvement. There is no way I could cover all the action, so if you missed this year’s CES, here are some of highlights from it.

Purty Screens

World’s Largest HDTV, 150"
www.panasonic.com
Let’s start off with the big guns. The biggest attraction at this year’s show was the world’s largest HDTV. Last year spectators drooled over Sharp’s 108" LCD, which was the world’s largest at the time, but this year seeing was believing when you stood infront of a 150" plasma from Panasonic. 150 inches, good God! No price has been set for the 150-incher, but rumor has it that it will carry a six figure price tag. Ouch.

World’s Thinnest HDTV, 9mm
www.pioneerelectronics.com
HDTVs seem to be the most sought after “gadget”. Bigger and thinner, that’s what consumers want. So while Panasonic was wooing the crowd with 150", Pioneer was creating their own buzz with the world’s thinnest TV. It’s a 9mm plasma, actually thinner than an iPhone!

Curved and 3D Monitors
www.alienware.com and www.samsung.com
If you’re a gamer, you love being immersed in the action. So what better way to immerse your eyes, ears and body than with a curved computer monitor that wraps around you from Alienware? Or try out a 3D monitor from Samsung. Sure, you still have to wear those goofy 3D glasses, but it’s a step in the right direction in bringing 3D interaction home. This is technology that will surely be improved upon in the years to come.

Chic Geek

Solar Powered Fashion Apparel
(website link unavailable at this time)
We already know you’re a geek, but there is no need to dress the part. Be a fashionable geek. You can now carrying around your mp3 player, cell phone and other gadgets without the worry of the dreaded dead battery = dead gadget. Jackets with solar powered panels in your collar will keep you powered on the go.

Sexy Taser Guns
www.taser.com
CES introduced us to a taser gun combined with an mp3 player and covered in leopard skin. Why you ask? Why not I suppose is the answer. Now you can taser that mugger and dance all over his ass in style. You go girl!

Diamond & Swarovski Crystal USB Thumbdrives
(website link unavailable at this time)
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend and there is just something about that little extra “bling bling” that catches a geek girl’s eye. Believe it or not, you can now have a diamond encrusted or Swarovski crystal covered USB thrumdrive.

Purse-Like Laptops For Women
(website link unavailable at this time)
Is it a laptop or is it a purse? You may remember years ago when Apple introduced their first line of iBooks, which resembled candy coated purses. No self-respecting dude would ever carry one, but the ladies loved them. So it was only a matter of time before they would return, not as Macs, but as what I refer to as hideous knockoffs. They come in a variety of colors and designs, all aimed to attract women.

Stuff I Want To Adopt Or F*ck

RoboPet Named Pleo
www.pleoworld.com
CES brought us lots of robots, but none as adorable and as awesome as Pleo. For $350 you can have your own dinosaur as a pet! And you thought dinosaurs were extinct. He’s both affectionate and playful. Basically, he delivers all the fun and love of real pet ownership without the massive steaming piles of poop to cleanup.

iBuddy
www.i-buddy.com
To some, this is lame, but I thought it was kind of cool. iBuddy is a little “buddy” that sits on your desk and interacts with your MSN Messenger account. Not only does he alert you to incoming IMs, but he acts out the emoticons used in the chat. Now this isn’t a very useful gadget, but it does supply some pretty eye candy and is a nice nerdy conversation piece. I’m waiting for someone to make an AOL Running Man version that works with AIM.

Orgasmic Network Equipment
www.linksys.com
Linksys unveiled some Wi-Fi routers so sexy you’ll want to fuck them…or rather hang them on your wall as art. Trust me, they’re beautiful!

Arantix Mountain Bike
www.delta7sports.com
If you don’t think this mountain bike kicks serious ass, then there is something wrong with you. It’s made of Kevlar and carbon fiber! This makes the frame super strong and super light, weighing just 2.5 lbs. Not to mention its hollow woven design makes it super cool!

DIY Gadget
www.buglabs.net
Finally, what could be considered “The Mother Of All Gadgets”, comes Bug Labs. Bug Labs allows you to create virtually any gadget combo you could possibly think of. Want an mp3 player/GPS locater/digital camera wrapped all into one? Then you can make it. The catch, you have to be a hardcore geek because even though Bug Labs supplies you with the hardware, it’s up to you to supply the software to make it work. That means you’ll need some programming skills. So if you can’t code, then you can’t build. Sorry.

So that concludes another year of CES. And did I mention that the Adult Entertainment Expo is held right next door to CES every year? Oooh yeah.