PILLOW FIGHT!!!

Feathers flew in Union Square this past weekend during the second-annual NYC Pillow Fight. With more than 2 inches of feathers covering Union Square, it was a free-for-all as people dressed as pirates battled fairies and shirtless fat men smacked leprechauns. It’s not exactly my idea of a pillow fight. I would much rather see a couple hot 20-something year-old girls going at it in their underwear. Long hair blowing from each down filled whap. They giggle. They squeal. Their bra strap accidently breaks. Oops.

Yes, I have a vivid imagination. In my head, I like to believe women in their 20s are not too old to partake in such slumber party activities. So don’t give me your dose of reality. I don’t want to hear it. Let a guy dream a little. I’m not hurting anyone.

The event was established by two avid pillow fighters from Toronto and has since spread to the states, stretching from San Francisco to New York City. Earlier this month several hundred pillow-fighting enthusiasts gathered in SF to slug it out, but more than 2,000 people attended the NYC Pillow Fight. This year's NY crowd grew substantially from last year's approximate 200 attendees, thanks to Facebook.com and blog publicity.

It was a swashbuckling extravaganza, with pillows substituting for swords as salty rapscallions swung from light poles and jumped from atop trash cans. You just have to go in swinging and keep your pillow hand strong if you want to hold your own in a feather brawl.

Your Ass May Be Lazy, But Your Nuts Don't Need To Suffer

It’s wrong to kick a man when he’s down, but it seems the homeless are encouraging people to kick them in the nuts when they are down and out. Did AA dump the 12 Step Program in favor of the 1 Kick Program? Just $10 for a good hard swift kick to the nuts? I think that’s an outstanding deal! But really, just because you are a lazy ass (essentially a bum), do your nuts really need to suffer? As Chris Rock once said…”If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn’t been homeless that long. A REAL homeless person is too hungry, to be funny.”

I took my “kinda sorta not really girlfriend” to the ballet and when the show was over, a bum was waiting outside to hit everyone up for change. It’s not just begging complete strangers for money, that he did nothing to earn, that irks me. It’s the fact that he will turn around to spend another’s hard earned cash on booze that I really loathe. To add to his panhandling antics, he has the audacity to stuff his shoes under a nearby shrub. I assume his goal is to appear as if he can’t even afford footwear, forcing him to stroll the city in freezing subzero temps in just a pair of thin holey socks. Oh, poor you.

He rattles his tin can for a tip. I feel like say…”Hey, you want a tip? How about putting back on your f-ing shoes that are lying 10 feet away from your lazy ass and maybe you will be able to walk somewhere and apply for a job instead of mooching off of society.” I think that’s great advice. It’s the best “tip” he will get all day! Instead, I bite my tongue. I just ignore him and keep on walking.

In a half hearted tone, he throws in the standard “may God bless you” wish. His insincerity could be seen by a blind man. He’s not fooling anyone with his charade. The only fool I see is the man who stands on a snowy wet street corner in filthy socks when his perfectly good shoes are less than 10 feet away! Sympathy? No, I have none for this man. He preys upon those with a bleeding heart and makes a sucker out of them.

And what’s up with the guy holding the “Tell Me Off For $2” sign? First of all dude, you are getting ripped off. Man up. Take one to the bag and you can earn $10 like your fellow bum buddy above. Now granted, you may not be able to reproduce after getting kicked in the Jimmy all day, but do we really want you reproducing anyway? I’m not being mean…ok, maybe I am being mean. But truth be told, you are a burden to society. Start contributing in life and you might actually find yourself with a life, one worth living. And when has anyone actually PAID you to receive permission before telling you off? I think you’ll find most people will tell you off for free and without your ok to do so. I think I just did.

Besides, there is a homeless woman downtown that uses a slew of curse words on me (and every other passerby). Vulgarities so vulgar that they would make a sailor blush and a truker cringe. Words that should only be spewed in a Turkish prison camp. She tells me off on a regular basis and I’ve never made a penny off her. Think I should start collecting? Or maybe I could just wear a “Kick Me” sign on my back and call it a day – a workday that is.

Skool For Smartasses

This is pure genius. Gotta love it!

Side Note: Thank God Meredith lived! Yeah, I watch the show. Save the "you're gay dude" jokes. I'm man enough to admit it's good and I'm addicted. It's not "Sex And The City" good, but it's still pretty damn good.

Pimps & Hoes Be Warned, NYC May Ban Spinners

Tuck yo glock in yo sock as you roll thru da hood. You’re ridin’ dirty. Da bass is pumpin’ and you got your Caddy sittin’ pretty on 24s. Da chrome be spinnin’! Fly bitches be checkin’ out your whip saying “heeey”. Pop your collar player. You got game and everyone knows you da bomb! I’m talkin’ about your spinners, baby. They cost you a couple grand, but it’s all good in da hood. Money ain’t a thang. It’s all worth it because thanks to your blinged out rims, you gets more ass than Kobe after he drops a triple double on da Knicks. Now brace yourself for the devastating news…

Just 2 weeks after NYC's tech gadget ban, a bill proposed that would ban the use of tech gadgets while crossing the street, New York will now consider banning spinners - spinning hubcaps and wheels on all motorized vehicles. Bill #1640 would make such wheels illegal statewide. The bill was introduced previously, but it is now gaining traction after being reintroduced by State Senator John Sabini. The measure would fine vehicle owners up to $750 for a third (or subsequent) violation.

It's difficult to understand why the bill is gaining traction with no known associated risks to drivers. It's not like cars are slamming into one another because awe-struck onlookers are being hypnotize at intersections from an Escalade's 24's going round and round. What about the naked lady mud flaps on all those big rigs? And I wonder how many people have rear-ended someone while trying to read the latest “my kid beat up your honor roll student” bumper sticker. Maybe the Jesus Fish or the Gay Rights Rainbow causes you to swerve inadvertently into oncoming traffic. Who’s to say?

The folks at the SEMA (who mobilize and lobby on the behalf of automotive enthusiasts when it comes to such legal matters) are stepping up to defend the rights of those folks with really, really tacky taste. SEMA is urging opposition to the measure, on the grounds that the wheels are not prohibited under Federal law, nor are there any conclusive studies that indicate that spinners pose a safety risk. I’m sorry, but if you put spinners on your car, then maybe you should be fined hundreds of dollars for having bad taste. Although I suppose if you already have a chrome grill (your teeth covered in platinum), then some ugly ass spinners should pair up nicely.

If you ask me, this is just one more reason to heart NY, a state that is anti-spinners. Now go represent in the comment section and let your voice be heard. Haters welcomed.

One Step Closer To Becoming A Better Man

Nobody is perfect. We all have our flaws. Everyone aspires to be more than just average, but not everyone succeeds in that. However, we don’t have to settle for being “average”. We can improve. We can grow. We can become better. Sometimes we need a reason to refine ourselves. Someone that makes us want to transform from ordinary to extraordinary. Other times the only reason you need is yourself. To become a better person. Nothing more. Nothing less. I don’t set ridiculous goals for myself that are out of reach. Instead I take it one step at a time. Learning how to cook – I’m just one step closer to becoming a better man.

The apron I wear when I "attempt" to cook.

I know my strengths and I’m all too aware of my weaknesses. I’m human. I have flaws. I don’t dwell on my flaws though. I embrace them, lightly. I poke fun at myself. If I can’t laugh at myself, then who can I laugh at? I’m a grown man who can’t cook and who spells like a 2-year-old. Not exactly something to brag about. (And not exactly something I should admit publicly, but what’s done is done.) I can get away with the bad spelling thanks to spell check. The world doesn’t need to know it’s my crutch. I manage. I get by. Let’s leave it at that. Now cooking…well that’s a whole different story.

This Valentine’s Day I wanted to do something different. Something that showed I went the extra mile. That I’m not the typical guy who waits until February 14th, scrounging around for the last bouquet of roses and grabbing whatever mystery box of chocolates that is within arm’s reach. I actually take time beforehand and put some true thought into it. In this case, I began right after Christmas. The wheels were already turning. I had an idea. I thought things thru. I planned. I prepared. I even prayed. I wanted things to be just right. Failure wasn’t an option. I decided I was going to cook Valentine’s Day dinner to surprise my “kinda sorta not really girlfriend”. She’s a kinda sorta not really girlfriend, because she has all the ingredients of a potential girlfriend, but at the moment lacks the girlfriend title. The main ingredient I was missing – not knowing how to cook, at all!

Don’t get me wrong. I can make things in the kitchen, like a mess or a small fire. I wasn’t going to kid myself. I was in dire need of help. If I was going to pull this off, I desperately needed a professional to train me. Lucky for me, my kinda sorta not really girlfriend’s Mom is the head chef at a 5 star restaurant. It’s like having my very own Rachel Ray in my kitchen, only better! I informed her Mom of my intentions on Christmas Day. That I was hoping she could give me some private cooking lessons in the weeks prior to Valentine’s Day. I didn’t expect her to turn me into a chef overnight, but I was hoping she could give me the tools and the knowhow to pull off a single dinner – complete with appetizer, entrée and dessert. Dessert was the most important. It would be the final taste on her lips so it needed to make a good lasting impression.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I doubted myself. Could I even pull this off? My kitchen talents pretty much consist of the ability to boil water and make toast. Yes, it’s that pathetic. It’s why I often dine out. Miraculously though, there is hope for me. You CAN in fact teach an old dog new tricks. I now can cook…well at least one appetizer, entrée and dessert. It’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. The man being me. The cooking challenged bachelor.

I learned more than just how to make lobster ravioli and some fancy French raspberry chocolate dessert that I can actually pronounce, but can’t actually spell during a 6 week crash course in cooking. I learned that the thought, time and effort I put into making just one night perfect for someone far outweighs any great tasting dish I could ever possibly create. I asked her to rate my cooking, to give me a grade so I knew what I needed to improve or change upon. I was told I get an A in effort and romance. That my cooking was surprisingly good and that if I really wanted to impress her, don’t change anything about myself. Maybe I’m a good enough guy. That being myself is enough. But I still feel there is always room for improvement.

Valentine's Day Just Got A Little Sweeter

I do it because I love you. Yes, you. You my loyal blog readers. I love you more than a fat kid loves cake! And we all know what goes so well with cake. Ice-cream! Cold Stone Creamery Oreo Overload is my favorite, but I don't discriminate against the other creations. Cold Stone ice-cream is right up there beside a carton on Ben & Jerry's. Mmm, it's THAT good! Since Valentine's Day is this week, I'm in a cuddly loveable giving type of mood. So let me buy you a scoop of ice cold creamy heaven!

Print Coupon Here

Songs Featured In iPod Commercials

Ever see an iPod commercial on TV and ask yourself "what's the name of that catchy ass tune?" We've all done it. We have the beat or the chorus stuck in our heads. We mumble the lyrics when nobody is listening, despite not knowing a single word that is actually sung. We rack our brains trying to think of the artist's name, the song title, anything that would help us locate the mp3. You ask your friends. You ask your family. You ask your co-workers. You might even ask a total stranger online or your garbage man what the name of that song is. But still, still you are left clueless. Well guess no more because I've compiled a complete list (or so I hope a complete list) of ALL the iPod commercial songs ever aired. There are 32 tracks in total. So launch iTunes, LimeWire or your favorite P2P client and start downloading.

Nobody will be shocked if my future son/daughter looks like this.

• Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama
• Black Eyed Peas - The Boogie That Be
• Bob Dylan - Someday Baby
• Caesars - Jerk It Out
• Cut Chemist - The Audience Is Listening Theme Song
• Daft Punk - Technologic
• Dave Brubeck - Take Five
• Eminem - Lose Yourself
• Feature Cast - Channel Surfing
• Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc
• Green Day - I Fought The Law
• Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl
• N.E.R.D. - Rock Star
• OK Go - Do What You Want
• OK Go - Here It Goes Again
• Ozomatli - Saturday Night
• Propellerheads - Take California
• Prototypes - Who's Gonna Sing?
• Rinocerose - Cubicle
• Smash Mouth - All Star
• Steriogram - Walkie Talkie Man
• The Ataris - The Radio Still Sucks
• The Fratellis - Flathead
• The Polyphonic Spree - Light And Day (Reach For The Sun)
• The Raconteurs - Steady As She Goes
• The Resource & Jimmy Napes - Gimme That
• The Talking Heads - Wild Wild Life
• The Vines - Ride
• U2 - Original Of The Species
• U2 - Vertigo
• Wolfmother - Love Train
• Wynton Marsalis - Sparks

The birth of the iPod occurred in 2001. Today, we are up to the 5th generation video iPod. We also have seen the introduction of the sleek Nano and teeny tiny Shuffle. Over the years there have been countless iPod commercials. So tracking down all the songs was not an easy task. If I am missing a song, please let me know and I'll add it to the list. Digital music at your fingertips - it's a beautiful thing.

NYC Considers Banning Tech Gadgets

New York was the first city to enforce a no-smoking ban. A law I love. Sorry, but cancer lung just isn't sexy, on first hand or second hand smokers. Then came the trans-fat ban. Another great law, at least in my opinion. Clogged arteries and fat dimples on your ass, neither is sexy. Many major cities are working on passing laws that prohibit the use of cell phones while driving. However, NY is taking it a step farther by banning not only cell phones but also iPods and Blackberries?

Yes, it's true. New York State Senator Carl Kruger is proposing a bill that would fine iPod users a $100 for listening to tunes while crossing the street. The "gadget ban" was introduced today. It would actually prohibit the use of any electronic device in a crosswalk. So besides iPod users, the proposal would also target people talking on mobile phones, checking email on their Blackberries or playing videogames on a portable console. Distracted pedestrians mixing with busy NYC traffic has been a problem for quite some time. Although recently it was brought to the attention of law makers after several people were killed while crossing a street in Brooklyn.

I just don't see how the NYPD would find the time to hand out tickets to gadget-distracted pedestrians. Do you ever see them picking up a bum or stopping the cabbie from pissing in the street? No. So I find it highly unliking that a cop will blow his whistle at you for jaywalking while jamming out to the Black Eyed Peas. Besides, you won't hear the whistle blow anyway because you'll have your earbuds in.

While people should (emphasis on "should") pay attention on the street, they always have the right of way. So no matter how engrossed they are with their tech gadget, it's the driver's job to not run the pedestrian over...even if he dances out in front of oncoming traffic while singing Fergalicious. And just between you and me, I would be highly tempted to plow anyone over who jams out to Fergi. That alone should be a crime in itself and worthy of "get out of jail free" vehicular homicide. I should really be a law maker. Don't you agree?

View da Vinci's Virtual Notebook

It's not everyday that you can read a notebook belonging to one of the world's greatest geniuses of all-time. Personally, I find Leonard da Vinci (1452-1519) to be the most fascinating human being to ever live. da Vinci kept a collection of all his short treatises, notes and drawings which are now referred to as the Leonardo Notebook. Written entirely in Italian, the notebook features da Vinci's signature style of "mirror writing", left handed and moving from right to left. He did this so it made his work all the more difficult for someone to decipher, thus stealing his ideas.

The notebook was not originally a bound volume, but was put together after Leonardo's death from loose papers of various types and sizes. Most of the pages were written in 1508, but others come from different periods of his life. They cover practically the whole of his career. The wide range of subjects from mechanics to the flight of birds, demonstrates Leonardo's almost compulsive intellectual curiosity about scientific and technical matters.

The world's richest man, Microsoft's Bill Gates, paid $30.8 million dollars for da Vinci's 15th century notebook. It is known as the "Codex Leicester". The Codex Leicester is combined with another collection of da Vinci's scientific musings titled "Arundel Codex". Together they make up a 72-page notebook that can now be seen for the very first time. London's British Library has a virtual version of the 72-page notebook, one of the more prominent pieces in the library's collection. You can view it here...

• Leonardo da Vinci's Virtual Notebook

Get FREE WiFi For 3 Months!

For the release of Microsoft new operating system Windows Vista, T-Mobile is offering 3 free months of their hotspot service. The catch is you have to be running Windows Vista...or do you? Here is a quick little "hack" to get 3 months of free WiFi access at Starbucks, Borders, FedEx-Kinkos, hotel chains, etc. The best part, there's no need to be running Windows Vista. It turns out that they only use the agent information for validation. So that enables us to spoof it! Here's how to do it.

1. Download the Firefox extension for spoofing user-agents:
https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/59/

2. Restart Firefox and goto:
Tools > User Agent Switcher > Options > Options... \

3. Click "User Agents" and then "Add"

4. Fill out the window with following info:

Description: Internet Explorer 7 (Windows Vista)
User Agent: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0)
App Name: Microsoft Internet Explorer App Version: 4.0
(compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0) Platform: Win32

5. Save it and go to Tools > User Agent Switcher >
Then click the newly added one.
Browse over to http://hotspot.t-mobile.com/vista/
There you should be redirected to a trial sign-up page.

This offer ends on April 30, 2007.