Kissing, Petting, Fucking...And It Gets Better

The key to real estate is location, location, location. So how would you like to call these towns home? There is a town in Austria called "Fucking". If you locate it on Google maps, you will see there are a number of Fucking roads there. A big problem is that American tourists keep stealing their street signs, returning to the states and saying "hey look, I've been to Fucking Austria." The village is known to have existed as Fucking since at least 1070 and is named after a man from the 6th century called Focko. "Ing" is an old Germanic suffix meaning "people." Therefore, Fucking in this case, means "place of Focko's people." There is also another town called "Oberfucking" or "Upper Fucking", for those who like to be on top I guess. Coincidentally just over the border in Bavaria, Germany you will find two small municipalities called Kissing and Petting. So just a word of advice, you might want to start with Kissing and Petting before you race to Fucking. If you don't know the ins and outs of Kissing, Petting and Fucking, you may want to look for a German bus tour operator named "Fücker". He can show you all you need to know.

If you plan on visiting Baden-Wuerttemberg, Germany may I suggest you stay away from a village called "Killer". The locals say it isn't the best place to camp. For the homosexual tourist, you may want to stop in Manly, Australia. It's on the other side of the harbor from Sydney. If you want to get straight to the point, you can always just visit Intercourse, Pennsylvania right here in the states. You'll definitely want to reach Climax, MI also. But be careful, because it's only 33 miles from Fertile.

There is also a town in Northern Portugal, Spain called Feces. The town is actually called "Feces de Abaixo" (Lower Feces), adding to my amusement factor. If reading about all of these lewd town names is making you feel like you will go straight to hell, then let me point you in the the right direction. You will find Hell in Norway and let me warn you, it's not hot like you may of imagined. Their winters can get below -20C! Yes folks, hell DOES freeze over.