Amish Thug Life - Beyond Crazy!

What is the world coming to when people are shooting up the Amish? Are you kidding me - the Amish? Who hates the Amish? What did the Amish ever do to anyone? Ok, maybe they screwed the power company out of a few sales. But seriously, the Amish? They are harmless! How can you justify killing a bunch of Amish schoolgirls? Man, we live in a sick world! As morbid as it may sound and as morbid as it really is, I don't mean to make light of what happened the other day in Quarryville, PA. However, I have a few questions on my mind...

Since the Amish don't like being photographed, they feel it shows vanity and pride, I'm going to respect that. Although if I may make a small suggestion, the new Amish attire should include this shirt. It's still black, which is their color of choice, and it gives crazies fair warning. So as you see, it may be quite beneficial to Amish lifestyle these days...unless they are going to start packin' heat? Or this could be used in conjunction with your nine?

Who here is offended by bowl haircuts? A show of hands please. I'm raising mine. Not to be a hater, but having your hair styled in the form of my morning cereal bowl just isn't sexy. Perhaps there was a day in time, way back when, that it was viewed as "sexy". Although today, not even Justin Timberlake could bring sexy back in the form of a bowl haircut. That style should only be worn by the little boy who graces the outside label on a Dutch Boy paint can. Other than him, sorry but the bowl gotta go. Still, with that said...as much as I dislike the Dutch boy cut, I wouldn't go postal on an Amish schoolhouse!

So what is it that posses someone to unload all their hate and anger on the Amish? Do you not like churned butter? Is that what's bothering you so? I don't know if I've ever had churned butter myself, but I'm sure it can't be horrific tasting. I assume it's similar if not tastier than "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" spray? These are just my thoughts. And what about the home sewn outfits, clunky soled shoes, brimmed hats and free flowing beards...are those things rubbing people the wrong way too? I mean you won't see that look being shown during NY Fashion Week, but does it offend people so much that they need to be shot over it?

Hey, the Amish may be a little different (alright, ALOT different), but there are many good things to be said about the Amish. One being that you never saw a single Amish person featured on Dateline's "To Catch A Predator." Right? You don't see it because they aren't online. No cell phones. No computer. No PPV porn? Wow, life as an Amish man must suck! You won't see them cybersexing little boys while they are in congress...ahem, Mark Foley. Which reminds me, Mr. Foley, please stop asking me what color panties I'm wearing. They're pink ok. Happy now? You sick son of a...