Office sex is a fantasy shared by millions, myself including. Unfortunately though, that’s where the fantasy should stay - in your head and not acted out. Statistics say that 4 out of 10 people have dated a colleague at some point in their careers. (I use the word "dated" loosely. For the sake of this post, the word "dated" is going to be a generalization to describe any type of unprofessional involvement with a co-worker. An emotional and/or sexual affair with a co-worker either in, or out, of the workplace.) And with the office holiday party season upon us, temptation is at an all-time high! Office holiday parties are a breeding ground for bad behavior because everyone is looking their best, cutting loose, dancing and of course drinking. It’s a deadly combo and one that your career can suffer greatly from should you fail to use your best judgment.
After college it becomes harder to meet new people and make friends. These days the average person works between 50-60 hours a week. That means people spend MORE time with their co-workers than they do with their significant other, family or friends! Spend 50-60 hours a week with ANYONE and a relationship of some kind WILL form. Now whether you keep that relationship strictly professional, turn it into a friendship or something more is completely up to you. Nearly every H.R. department prefers you find romance outside the workplace. However, if you still insist on inviting unnecessary drama into your professional life and risking your career, there’s only one rule you need to remember when it comes to office romances...
Don't.
Not clear enough? Then try this...
DON'T!!!
Still not getting the message? Then here are a 5 things you may want to consider before those harmless office flirtations spiral out of control and end up costing you your job!
1. Stop Being Lazy
Relationships take work. And finding someone worthy of entering into a relationship with often takes even more work! If you’re too lazy to find someone outside your office to be romantically or sexually involved with, then you’re too lazy to be in a relationship. It’s easy to pursue someone you work with because they’re right there working 3 cubes down! It’s convenient. Plus, you already sort of know them so it feels comfortable. You share at least one common interest with them and have plenty of friends/co-workers in common. So striking up a conversation isn’t very difficult, especially considering you could always lead with a work related question. Basically, you have a legit excuse to chat them up without appearing like you want to feel them up.
2. Welcome To Rumorville
Sometimes all it takes is a couple lunches together and buying a co-worker a drink at happy hour to get the rumors at work on Monday flying! It was because she was attractive and flirty. And because I’m a man with hormones. So to onlookers, it only made sense! Then when word got around that I was actually dating her best friend (who didn’t work there), the next rumor was "he’s doing both of them!" And that’s how rumors get started. No matter how platonic one relationship may be, and no matter how discrete you think you’re being with another not so innocent relationship, people will take notice and will jump to conclusions. Co-workers will assume the worst because it adds a little excitement in a normally mundane 9-5 grind and gives them something interesting to talk about over morning lattes with their cubemate.
3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Start up an office romance and see how quickly EVERYONE in the company loses respect for you! Your hard work no longer seems earned. Your opinions will be called into question and your choices will be carefully scrutinize. People will wonder if your decision making process is one based with the company’s best interests in mind, or your own. You will appear sneaky and untrustworthy. And some may become hostile toward you for bending/breaking the company’s dating policy.
4. No Escaping!
Want to talk about awkward moments, jealously flare-ups, uncomfortable board meetings, snide remarks and power fights? Then become romantically involved with a co-worker. Better yet, wait until the two of you breakup and you’re forced to see your ex EVERY SINGLE DAY, ALL DAY LONG! The office becomes an emotional prison and there’s no escape.
5. Over And Under Rule
If they're over you, they shouldn't be "over" you. If they're under you, they shouldn't be "under" you. Get what I'm saying? Simply put - it's bad enough to sleep with a co-worker who is at the same level as you, but NEVER sleep with a boss or one of your subordinates! Not only are you asking to be fired, but you may find yourself wrapped up in an ugly sexual harassment case as well.
It doesn't matter how large or how relaxed of a company you work for, engaging in a workplace romance is committing career suicide. And in today's tough job market, believe me when I say you're easily replaceable. So don't give them an easy reason to let you go. Expand your dating pool.
***SIDE NOTE***
At risk of sounding like a hypocrite, it's only fair that I mention the advice I've just given comes from my own personal experience. When you know better, you do better. While I've never engaged in an workplace romance, I did receive a BJ at work (from a girl I was dating that didn't work there) during my rookie year in the workforce. I was fresh out of college with a bit of an ego and with lots to learn. I was young, dumb and full of...
Well, I’ll just end this post on that. Lesson learned.
No comments:
Post a Comment