Decrypting The Universe

I used to look for "signs from above" to decide the right choice for me to make. I used to wait for "perfect moments" to magically appear before I made my move. I used to wish on a star, a birthday candle, and on a greasy turkey bone break to make my wildest dreams come true. I used to find a penny and pick it up for good luck. I used to believe a fortune cookie could foresee the life ahead of me. I thought a daily horoscope already had the mood for my day set and there was nothing I could do to change it. I trusted the weatherman to accurately predict sun or rain. I had faith that a Magic 8 Ball held all the answers to my toughest questions.

And finally, I believed praying to a God I didn’t quite believe in would steer me in the right direction when I read the signs from above wrong. When I let the perfect moment pass. When I lost the turkey bone break. When the penny was stuck to the sidewalk with gum. When the fortune cookie crumbled. When the daily horoscope section was missing from the paper. When the weather man had his signals crossed. And when the Magic 8 Ball just wasn’t up to the task.

Ok, so maybe I wasn’t THAT naive or superstitious, but close. I still catch myself doing stupid shit though. Like hitting shuffle on my iPod, then convincing myself that the next song that randomly plays will be the song that describes EXACTLY how some girl truly feels about me or how I SHOULD feel about them. (Yes, I'm secretly a 12-year-old girl trapped in a grown man's body.) Last time I did this, "Edge Of Desire" by John Mayer began to play. Out of 3,000 songs it picked that! Seriously? I nearly threw my iPod out the car window in a fit of hurt and anger! Then I decided that would be an expensive hissy fit to take and hit "next" instead. Jay-Z’s "On To The Next One" began to play. Fitting.

Fitting in the sense that the song isn’t about moving on in terms of women or love. The song is about Cristal, Rovers, and pricey sneakers. And that’s precisely my point! It’s fitting because it didn’t fit - at all! Get ready for the reality check. There are no magical answers in life or hidden meanings in song lyrics that need decoding. There are no signs to follow. No signals that flash. And there’s no bellowing voice from the sky...at least none that I have ever heard. There’s just you. You’re in control. I know, I know. It’s a hard concept to grasp. I struggled with it too. But it’s true!

Of course old habits die hard. So purely for shits and giggles, I signed up for a daily e-mail that many of my friends were already subscribed to. It’s called "Notes From The Universe" from TUT - Totally Unique Thoughts. The notes are designed to remind you that you have, indeed, been given dominion over all things. It's like The Universe is whispering in your ear hole, give or take the spine tingle that can accompany it. A little virtual voice that gives you a gut check by punching you in the stomach, then lovingly holds your hair back while you vomit and offers a hug after you wipe your disgusting self clean. It’s exactly the kind of self-love and mental cleansing I need!

Day 1 - Notes From The Universe

Tell me, David, if you were to walk out of your home tomorrow morning, gaze upward into the heavens and see me there, in all my splendor, pacing, pining, and worrying; hoping, wishing, and yearning; and questioning whether or not my boldest dreams would ever come true, would you or would you not, wonder if I had gone stark raving mad?

Well then...?

Thoughts become things... choose the good ones!

Training your mind is what it all boils down to. All of it. All things. Everything.

Hearty punch to the stomach. Little bit of vomit. Big hug.