Meditative Fart

Farts. They’re funny. Or at least to guys they are, ALL guys. And it never gets old. NEVER! Although for whatever reason, most women don’t seem to share that same sense of juvenile humor. While farting may clear a room, it also clears your mind. Because seriously, when your mind is full of so much crap and someone farts, your mind instantly goes blank and relaxes. You live in that moment and that moment alone. (You live in the fart?) It’s like the fart cloud has magical powers to wash your mind clean, if only for a brief moment.

So while I may physically hold my breath and try not to inhale when someone farts, I’m mentally exhaling. And for someone who has difficulty relaxing his racing mind, the fart is a blessing. The fart calms me, even if I’m not doing the farting, especially if I’m not doing the farting. It’s like a crude form of short lived meditation.

And isn’t that the premise behind meditation - to clear your mind of any and all distractions? Although if you’re anything like me, the first time you ever attempted mediation you failed miserably. I kept thinking about how I’m not supposed to be thinking about anything! The more I tried to empty my mind, the faster it filled. I mentally scolded myself to stop it, to concentrate, to focus. It wasn’t a relaxing experience. It was a frustrating chore. And I haven’t tried it again since. This is why I often battle with insomnia. Apparently I’m mentally weak. My brain did not come with a "shut down" button to click.

I lied down on the couch last night and placed a sleepy Bulldog on my chest. Snuggling with him never fails to relax me. But as he fell fast asleep with his tongue out and began to snore, I couldn’t find that same restful state. While the muscles in my body fully relaxed, the tension in my mind only grew. I couldn’t keep the stresses of the day from entering my frontal lobe. And then...he farted. A slow, long, odorless fart. The best kind. It didn’t even wake him, but it put my mind fast asleep.

Moral Of The Story: Tension breakers temporary reshape how we're feeling and put life back into proper perspective. And in that brief moment, all of your troubles seem to melt away and you feel like a worry-free kid again, giggling. Laugh more. Stress less.