All According To Plan

Life is unscripted. I’m pretty sure that’s the way nature intended it to be. And I’m pretty sure it’s the way love is supposed to be. From the minute we are born, we are handed a blank manuscript. A stark, white sheet of paper with an unwritten story where the only thing you know for certain is that you’ve been given the lead role. Then within seconds and without auditioning, the first two characters have been cast to play a role in your life. Two unknowns who you know today as Mom and Dad. You are introduced to them in Act I - The Delivery Room. No lines are written. Just a small footnote stating "let them love you." And so you do.

Over time we will be introduced to a whole slew of other characters - siblings, teachers, coaches, mentors, employers, co-workers, friends and even romantic interests. All will play a role in our lives, some a more significant role than others and some relationships lasting longer than others. We don’t know ahead of time who these people will be. We just know they are meant to exist in our life script. It’s impossible to predict when they will walk into our lives or when they will walk out. How we will meet them, what they will teach us, and how they will forever change our world are mysterious as well.

I can honestly say I’ve never actively pursued love. Sure I’ve pursued girls and asked them out, but I’ve never "looked" for love. Ever. And I’ve never felt the need or desire to. Ever. I suppose this is why I never understood people who go on dating sites or ask a friend of a friend to fix them up. I don’t understand that urgency, that endless search to obtain love. I don’t understand why they don’t just let nature take it's course. Love is quite capable of walking into your life without casting it or asking it to audition for the role.

Singles hate hearing the phrase "you’ll find someone when you least expect it, when you’re not even looking." It’s the same cliché advice my Mom shelled out to my sister for years, until one day my sister stopped rolling her eyes and finally nodded her head in agreement. And it happened to me as well.

I fell in love in the very best way - unexpectedly.

It couldn’t have been a more random and unconventional way of crossing paths with someone. And it couldn’t have happened at a more emotionally unavailable time in my life, just a week into my Manwhore Relapse phase. But this post isn’t about how she unknowingly and single handedly tamed my unscrupulous sexual behavior by bringing out the caring, cuddly creature inside of me to the point where even my thick-headed friend "Scum" could clearly see I was falling in love. This post isn’t about that and isn’t about her either. In fact, I promised myself I would no longer write on either subject (read You’re a Grown Ass Man). No, this post is about taking back some degree of control in an unscripted life. While we may not always be able to control who walks into our life or who walks out of it, we can control how we react to it. And while we may not always be able to control who our heart loves, we can control how we heal from it. Basically, if you can’t control a situation, at the very least you can control how you react to it. Which leads me to the BIG announcement...

I’m detoxing from manwhoring.

I realize this comes as a shock to those that know me because in the past I’ve followed the theory that the best way to get over one girl is to get under another one. Of course that only works if you were just heavily in-like. But if you were in love, well that’s a whole other entity in itself! That's something a night of unbridled sex with a mere acquaintance cannot cure, which is why I kindly declined all her advances and offers. I’m not even going to entertain the thought. Because I know me. I know how I feel. And I know I’ll be tempted again like I was last week, but I also know I deserve something more.

I think I deserve something beautiful.

We all deserve something beautiful.