I’m writing you this letter because someone has to say this to you. And who better to say it than me? Afterall, who’s closer to you and knows you better than I do? I want to apologize in advance for giving you such a public tongue-lashing. But having this talk behind closed doors wouldn’t have as profound of an impact on you as this open letter will. Hate me for it now, but in due time, I’m confident you will one day thank me. So here it is. Sugar-free, blunt and brutally honest - just the way you like it.
First things first. Shut the fuck up. Yes. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. I can’t take your whining anymore! That internal dialog you have running on continuous repeat in your head. Your self-loathing, your extended pity party, your melancholy mopey state of mind. It’s annoying, pathetic and downright embarrassing to witness. So turn that off. Add upbeat thoughts. Shuffle that playlist. Then hit repeat.
Let’s talk about your addiction. You being a love sick crack head. It’s starting to (read "been") freaking me out! You have a slight obsession. Maybe you need some rehab. Or maybe you just need some sleep. Or maybe you should be more concerned that the pop song lyrics to Kesha’s "Your Love Is My Drug" fits you entirely too well! Whatever the case may be, the high you get when she’s around and then the crash and crave you experience when she leaves, is that rush really worth it? At one point I think you would have loudly proclaimed "YES," but now you would have to agree that it’s become detrimental to your sanity, not to mention your self-esteem.
The vast majority of the time you didn’t feel "special" (such a sissy term) because perhaps you aren’t special. And for whatever reason she didn’t show you the same type of supportive friendship she shows everyone else because perhaps you aren’t worthy of it. Maybe that is the truth and maybe that is not. I don’t have any explanations to give you, but there’s no sense in pondering painful questions you most likely will never have an answer to. Accept it. Stop trying to make sense of it. And stop drawing your own ill-formed, and probably woefully inaccurate, conclusions. It is what it is. Cliché, but true.
So you’re in love with her and you miss her. So what? Get over it. Or as they say in the movies, "send her love and light every time you think of her and then drop it." Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone outta be. And I better not dare catch your glossy-eyed reflection in the bathroom mirror again like I did Monday night. Because if a single tear drops from your face, I will personally punch you straight in your suck hole! Big girls don’t cry. And neither do grown ass men! Your little heart has been broken before and you survived. So your pitiful "but this time it’s different" argument holds no weight here. I’ve heard it all before. Each time is always different and each time is always the same. Heartache is a part of life and dealing with it maturely is called being a grown ass man.
And enough with the overly romanticized idea of showing up unannounced on her doorstep to prove your love. That makes me want to puke in my mouth. Plus, there’s a thin line between romantic and creepy. That borderlines creepy. It also screams needy, clingy and desperate. Not a sexy look on you. Simply put, enough with the love sick puppy bullshit. Get a clue and grow a pair. She’s over it. Now you be too.
Never thought I would say this, but I had more respect for you when you were a manwhore. At least then you were in control of your emotions. You didn’t grant them power over you. And you shouldn't allow negative thoughts about yourself to overpower you either. You've allowed yourself to be unbalanced by love. That's a good thing. But now it's time to find balance again. The first step to doing that is getting your head straight. Write this quote down and tape it to your bathroom mirror...
"Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me." - Zen and the Art of Happiness by Chris Prentiss
That doesn’t just apply to your love life, but rather to all the recent troubles in your life. Forgo your heart for awhile in search of your head. There’s nothing wrong with being perfectly lonely. Above all else, just remember...if you love her, love her. And if you miss her, miss her. Send her love and light every time you think of her and then drop it.
You don’t need a girl. And you don’t need a hug. What you need is a hard, swift kick in the ass. I’m happy to have served it.
You’re a grown ass man! Now start acting like one.
Love,
Yourself
Seriously. Love yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment