Either I Don’t Have A Heart Or I’m Doing It Wrong

Rumor has it that Yoga’s Camel Pose is supposed to cause this huge flood of suppressed emotion to erupt while you’re in it. I can see why people (or maybe just women?) might feel a bit more emotional in such a vulnerable state - hips out, head back, heart exposed. I imagine that contorting your body in such a physically defenseless position with your throat arched open to attack would lure any self-imposed emotional predator to lunge, like a mountain lion going for your jugular! Or something like that.

I think everyone would agree that at first Yoga feels a bit unnatural. And perhaps there lies the problem. We are trying to reconnect ourselves to the Universe in the most awkward of ways. Whether you’re balancing the entire weight of your body on the palm of one hand, or if you have both of your feet dangling from the tops of your shoulders, Yoga is just...well weird and often painful. So why does it hurt so good? Simple. Because for the first time in your life you are opening up your mind, body and soul to something outside your comfort zone. Yoga feels unnatural at first because the movements have not been in our nature, but probably should be.

So what’s not in the nature of most men? Opening up to their emotions. So with all of Yoga’s bendy benefits aside, I decided to give this Camel Pose thing a try. To see if it would...well, you know.

Granted, I knew I wouldn’t burst into tears, but yet I was too curious not to try it. It’s like when I was a little and rumor had it that Little Mikey from the LIFE cereal box died after his stomach exploded from eating a bag of Pop Rocks and chasing it with a can of Pepsi. So I had to do the same thing to see what would happen, of course!

So the other night, as my own private experiment, I did the Camel Pose. There I was. Alone in my living room. All contorted. Feeling the burn in my thigh muscles. Taking the recommended 5 deep breaths. Holding. Holding. Holding. Holding. Holding. Then slowly coming out of the pose. Reaction – nothing. I felt zero, zip, zilch, not a thing. So does this mean I don’t have a heart? Or maybe I’m just doing it wrong?

I have to be honest, I would be embarrassed if it had made me cry (especially considering I can count the total number of times I’ve ever cried in my life on one hand). But I’m also somewhat disappointed I didn’t have any reaction, at all. Emotionless and numb. Much like any Yoga pose, I’m left just feeling awkward.