The Quarter-Life Crisis Doesn’t Exist For Dudes

***NOTE***
Recommend reading this first. 12/19/05 - Twenty-Something, Life Thru Our Eyes

The quarter-life crisis. It’s a phrase you hear a lot of lately. It’s that period of life immediately following the transition from adolescence to adulthood, AKA your twenties. It seems that every 20-something has something to say on the topic. Most are either going through, or have already gone through, the quarter-life crisis. And for those who haven’t, the ones that have are more than happy to warn and prepare you for what to expect! They are eager to shell out advice and lend support to fellow quarter-life crisis suffers. Just browse through some Gen-Y blogs and you’ll quickly see countless posts on the dreaded subject. The quarter-life crisis is something every 20-something can relate to...unless you’re a dude. Or maybe I should say...unless you’re this dude - me.

While a mid-life crisis is supposed to hit you at age 40 or 50, a quarter-life crisis is supposed to be around age 25. Well, my 25th birthday came and went and nothing happened. There was no crisis. No meltdown of epic proportions. No counseling. No crying. No dropping to my knees in prayer. No self-help books. No hugs. No running off to foreign lands. No new aged retreats, workshops, religious awakenings, yoga or meditation of any kind. No nothing. Am I missing something? Should I consider myself lucky? When I started to think about the absence of my quarter-life crisis, I realized that none of my male friends had experienced this either! Only female friends seem to complain of such an event. And then it hit me. Maybe there’s no such thing as a quarter-life crisis for dudes?

While my Dad never had an affair, he did go through a very cliché mid-life crisis in his 50s when he bought a Limited Edition 40th Anniversary Ruby Red Corvette. But he doesn’t recall ever having a quarter-life crisis of his own. I’m quite certain my sister went through one in her 20s, or maybe she just complained a lot?

Females mature faster than males in life. But is it possible that males are more emotionally mature when it comes to dealing with tiny tragedies? That males are so desensitized that they’ve learned to adapt better than females in times of confusion, frustration and failure? Or maybe it’s the total opposite and guys are just emotionally retarded? That we wouldn’t recognized an emotional crisis even if it kneed us in the balls! Males are taught at a young age to be emotionally strong and as a result have become less expressive with their feelings. The "Suck It Up, Stuff It Down, and Carry On" theory where one suppress their emotions so much that they actually bypass the quarter-life crisis! Perhaps that’s it! Perhaps we hide the symptoms of a quarter-life crisis from the world so well that the symptoms are unrecognizable even to ourselves! And even if such pain is occurring, few would talk about it because it’s simply not manly to admit you’re struggling. That which doesn’t have a voice ceases to exist.

Think about it. When was the last time you heard about a guy crying in the office bathroom? Probably never! But in just the last week alone, I know of three 20-something girls who have done that. It’s no secret that women deal with their emotions in a much healthier way than men. So no one ever makes fun of a girl for losing it a little. Instead they are embraced by sites like Stratejoy.com that thrives on helping these 20-something women conquer their quarter-life crisis and find joy in life again. There is no such safe haven like that for men. Which leads me to believe either one of two things must be true...

A) The quarter-life crisis doesn’t exist for dudes.
B) Stratejoy.com for men would not be profitable because dudes are either too dumb to realize, or too proud to admit, when they’re suffering through a quarter-life crisis.

Until recently, I didn’t even know "Life Coaches" were real! I thought it was a made-up term, a cross between a psychologist and little league coach. They are more than just your own personal cheerleader though. These people are highly trained and ridiculously wise. It kind of freaks me out. That someone is capable of managing my life better than me! And then that makes me feel dumb. And then it makes me feel like I should have one, which is why I’m glad Life Coaches and sites like Stratejoy.com exist to help 20-somethings everywhere deal with the quarter-life crisis (even if it only caters to women).

Still, I’m confused. Have I become some cold, heartless, shell of a man that brushes so much off his shoulder that I’ve never had to bear the weight of the quarter-life crisis? Or should I be bracing myself for the delayed tidal wave’s inevitable smack that’s long overdue, but on it’s way?