How To Lose A Girl Everytime

I don’t think I’ve ever posted an audio file on my blog in lieu of a written entry, but right now I’m at a lost for words. Yes, me. Completely and utterly speechless. You’ll soon see why. But before you eagerly push play, let me tell you what you are about to listen to. Two girls were hanging outside a bar looking to catch a cab. While waiting, one of the girls catchs the eye of a man named Dimitri. The pair spoke for less than 2 minutes, but in that short period of time she hands him her business card and says, "Call me." They part and go their separate ways. Well not long after a Dimitri decides to give her a call. Harmless, right? Below is the actual voicemail message/s he left her. Now click play and prepare to be speechless yourself.

You see, our dear friend Dimitri has much to learn in this world. So very, very much. But what he is most ignorant about is women, especially how to talk to women. And how to STOP talking! What Dimitri lacks he attempts to make up by being an egotistical, condescending, arrogant asshole...among other things, but I’m at a lost for adjectives just like I’m at a lost for words. So I’ll let you fill in your own adjectives or explicatives as you see fit.

Is your jaw on the floor? Horrific, isn’t it? With each passing minute I cringed even more thinking it can’t possibly get any worse, then unbelievably, it does! Now just think how the poor girl feels who received those messages! I think she will be filing for a restraining order first thing in the morning. If not, I'll file for her.

Dimitri's ability to pick up chicks = FAIL!

***UPDATE***
For those that dare to dig a bit deeper into this Dimitri character...

• Dimitri’s Photo (He’s 45 years old! Try not to throwup, ladies.)
• Dimitri’s Wikipedia Page (Complete with criminal record!)
• Dimitri’s Website (NSFW)