101 Things You Didn't Know About Me

Every now and then a little trend gets around in the blogosphere and everyone is doing similar posts. For the most part, I don't usually participate in it because it gets old after awhile seeing so many similar posts. However, this one I wanted to do. It's the "100 Things You Didn't Know About Me" list. Of course if you know me, you know I like to do everything just a little different so I'm going to post "101 Things You Didn't Know About Me". 101 is always better than 100 right? Plus if you were in a bookstore and saw 100 things next to 101 things, which would you pick up to read? Exactly! So 101 it is and perhaps if you aren't tired of reading everyone else's 100 lists, you will check out mine...after all 101 is just better reading material. Everything you read here is true, whether it be funny, sad, shocking, whatever - it's all me.

1. I was voted Class Flirt in high school. I think if I go to my high school reunion, the title would still fit.

2. I look down the shirt of my shampoo girl when I get a haircut.

3. I've never dated a redhead, but I would date Debra Messing.

4. I once bought an engagement ring, but never proposed.

5. Only twice have I ever been truly in love.

6. I've spent an entire Sunday laying around watching football in just a towel because I was too lazy to get dressed after a shower. (Hey, at least I showered.)

7. I was considered to be "killed on impact" after I had a bad motorcycle accident. Then a paramedic revived me. I owe my life to her.

8. I never knew how badly I wanted to be a Dad until my niece was born.

9. Every time my dog pants, I can't resist touching her tongue and trying to flip the end of it up. She's very tolerant.

10. I was somewhat of a stereotypical jock growing up.

11. I enjoyed having a female boss. I thought it was sort of sexy to be told what to do by her.

12. One of my all-time favorite shows is "Sex And The City"...and no I'm not gay.

13. I would always choose love over money if I had to pick.

14. My family is more important to me than I think they know.

15. Once after a doctor's visit, I asked for a lollipop. I was 25.

16. I love Frank Sinatra music!

17. Reverse engineering comes easy to me.

18. I spell like a 2 year old, but the world doesn't know thanks to "spell check".

19. I can't resist a woman that smells good.

20. I always thought the term "love sick" was cliché, until I felt nauseas over a relationship.

21. A broken heart really does make your chest hurt.

22. Love really is blind sometimes and can't be explained.

23. I'll never say "I love you" unless I really mean it.

24. I battled depression as a kid. I denied it and let it go untreated because I was afraid people would think I was being silly to feel so down.

25. There were times when I should have swallowed my pride and spoke up because inside I was begging for help.

26. I went to college on a basketball scholarship because my grades wouldn't have carried my ass there.

27. I've never cheated on a girlfriend or been cheated on...at least not that I know of.

28. I like to wrap one arm around a pillow when I sleep. It's not only comfortable, but also comforting.

29. At times I can be quick to judge people, but even faster to accept them.

30. I'm a kid at heart.

31. I'm not really afraid or embarrassed to be naked.

32. I wear boxers and not briefs.

33. I actually like to cuddle (guys don't laugh).

34. I tuck my dog into her bed every night with a kiss on her head and say "nite buddy".

35. The best sex really does come when you are in love.

36. I've had an quickie in my office at work and I'm a member of the Mile-High Club.

37. I've had a threesome in college before (MFF). It was good, but not great as I let my friends believe.

38. Like many when I lost my virginity, it was confusing, fast and not memorable.

39. I don't attend mass regularly anymore, so when I do pray, I wonder if God will still listen.

40. I'm a firm believer in "God helps those that helps themselves".

41. I'm angry at those who blame their childhood for every problem they have thru adult life.

42. I've never heard my father say "I love you" to anyone and neither has my Mom, even to her. I'm ok if I never hear those words from him because I know he cares and that's what really counts.

43. My car is always kept so clean that you could perform surgery on top of the hood!

44. My sister got on my nerves when she lived close, now that she has moved away, I miss her.

45. I stopped a guy that tried to rape my girlfriend. I beat him so badly that he dropped out of our college due to fear. I don't feel sorry.

46. I am shocked at how much money I've spent/wasted on tech gadgets.

47. I once stole a pack of Bubble Yum gum from K-Mart as a kid. My Mom marched me back into the store to return it and admit my wrong doing.

48. The first time I have sex with a new partner, I'm nervous about pleasing them. After, I wonder why I worried. ;)

49. I boxed for years and never broke my nose!

50. I'm one of the few white boys that can actually dance.

51. I'm not an easily offended person. You have to really push it to set me off.

52. I made the Honor Roll in high school, but thought it was uncool and hid it.

53. I was on the Dean's List twice in college and felt proud of it.

54. I just missed graduating with honors, but wasn't upset about it.

55. I hold 2 Bachelor degrees and I am going to turn the one into a Masters.

56. Sometimes I feel dumb talking to other people.

57. I use to skateboard as a kid and now I love to snowboard.

58. My parents were afraid I would turn out weird, like a punk.

59. I've lived in this state my whole life, but I want to move away to NY because I love it there.

60. I like being challenged, but I'm learning to be careful what you wish for.

61. I'm hoping this government job renews my contract, but I'm doubtful.

62. I tried weed as a teenager and never thought it was that wonderful.

63. I was on an emotional roller coaster with a girl for too long. I'm glad the ride is now over.

64. I secretly love it when a woman takes care of me when I'm sick or tells me to be careful.

65. I hired my last intern based 40% on her skill and 60% on her looks. Shh.

66. I can't cook, but really tried to make dinner for a date to impress her.

67. I believe in chivalry.

68. I love romance. I feel it's the best part of a relationship.

69. I can speak a little French and Italian, emphasis on "little".

70. My parents still don't know that the reason I almost flunked a year of Jr High was because I was depressed, didn't want to and couldn't concentrate, not because I was dumb or lazy.

71. I've acted like a clown my whole life to disguise when I'm in pain.

72. I've had a co-worker have an emotional breakdown in front of me.

73. I have a sentimental keepsake box from past loves and childhood memories.

74. I wiped up the blood after my best friend/roommate committed suicide.

75. I love an adrenaline rush!

76. Although I would trade an adrenaline rush in for that "rush feeling" of falling in love.

77. I have a good amount of friends and a pretty close family, but I still feel
lonely at times.

78. I have a hard time understanding how one woman could make my heart beat one day and break it the next.

79. I don't trust people as much as I once did.

80. I've had a close friend die from cancer.

81. I shaved my head to make her feel pretty after chemo, to make her laugh and not feel alone.

82. I smiled when she smiled, then after I left the hospital, I cried because I knew her fate.

83. I never let on how much it hurt me when a girl I liked didn't want to meet my family.

84. When I boxed, before every fight I subconsciously made the sign of the cross (Catholic) on my chest.

85. I wonder if that was why I was never hurt badly in a match.

86. I've "drunk dialed" and been on the receiving end of a "drunk dialer".

87. I melt when a woman kisses my neck!

88. I've gone to Vegas without knowing how to play Poker.

89. I told a girl in Vegas I didn't want to sleep with her because I was gay - lied. The truth was that I was in love with someone.

90. My 10th grade composition teacher told me I had a real talent for writing. Before that, nobody told me I had a talent for anything and I didn't really believe her. I felt embarrassed when she read one of my papers out loud to the class. After numerous writing compliments from her, I still didn't believe her. Then in my senior year, she hit on me and to this day I don't know if she liked my writing...or just me.

91. The biggest turn on in bed for me is pleasing her - when she's into it and enjoying herself.

92. I don't understand why most men want to roll over and go to sleep after sex. I want to go a few more rounds.

93. My one buddy is a womanizer. I wish I could just be able to turn my feelings off like he can, but then at the same time I feel sorry for him because he's never experienced what it feels like to be in love.

94. Even after nearly losing my life on a motorcycle, I still do illegal street racing.

95. When I was 10, I picked on a kid in school. I want to find him now and apologize.

96. I wet my pants in the 4th grade! The teacher told me I already used the bathroom once that day and couldn't go again. I sat in those jeans all afternoon, was laughed at and humiliated. My Mom tried to get her fired for that, but the school didn't seem to care.

97. I found out a girl I use to date had turned into a stripper when I ran into her in a strip club. Out of respect for her, I didn't watch her perform.

98. I told my buddy to give her whatever money I had left in my wallet and to tell her that she is beautiful and smart and shouldn't degrade herself like this - to get another job.

99. She's now married with a family and holds a degree in psychology.

100. Having regrets in life is bad, not being able to change is worse.

101. Alot of this was hard to write because it brings up memories and feelings I don't like to always admit are part of me.

One For The Thumb, One For The Bus
The Pittsburgh Steelers are the new AFC Champs and are headed to Detroit to play in Super Bowl XL! After a convincing 31-17 win over the Denver Broncos, the 6th seeded Wildcard team that nobody gave a chance to has taken it all the way! Never has a 6th seeded team made it to the Super Bowl until now. The Steelers almost didn't even make playoffs, but one more regular season win squeezed them into the post season. However, despite being the underdogs for every single playoff game, the Steelers proved critics wrong. They showed that football isn't played with a bunch of stats on paper, but rather with alot of heart on the field.

The Black & Gold will take on the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl XL. Unlike the Steelers, the Seahawks have never been to a Super Bowl. So this is a first in their franchise history which makes the trip that much sweeter. Although, I hate to say that it will also make their future Super Bowl lose to the Steelers that much more bitter. Yes, I'm predicting my Steelers will finally get "one for the thumb" - their 5th Super Bowl ring. More than likely, this will be running back Jerome Bettis's last game and last shot at a Super Bowl ring. Usually Super Bowl games are blowouts and I wouldn't mind if the tradition continued this year, as long as it is the Seahawks getting spanked. Finally, a Super Bowl game that will be good to watch for the game and not just the commercials or occasional boob popping incidents.

The Death Penalty Would Of Been More Lenient
It's a punishment tailored to hit a diehard football fan where it hurts the most, taking away his right to watch Super Bowl Sunday. A Cleveland court judge has ordered a grown man be sent to his room and have his TV privileges taken away during the biggest football game of the year! You may remember the December 24th Steelers-Browns game when a drunken Browns fan ran out onto the field. The fan was quickly caught by Steelers linebacker James Harrison who body-slammed the fan onto the ground and held him for police. In my opinion, it was the best play of the game and definitely a worthy video clip for any NFL highlight reel.

The fan in question is 24-year-old Nathan Mallett who was convicted earlier this month of misdemeanor counts of disorderly conduct while intoxicated and criminal trespassing. He said he ran onto the field because he was upset by Pittsburgh's 41-zip blowout of the Browns. (Of course a thorough ass kicking handed from the Steelers to the Browns is nothing new or unusual.) Mallett will begin his 3 day sentence February 3rd and he won't be allowed to watch the February 5th Super Bowl game on TV, or listen to it on radio. The judge also ordered Mallett not to attend Browns games in Cleveland or any other city for 5 years as a condition of his probation. In addition, he also has to do 150 hours of community service with team charities.

Personally, I think the judge is doing this guy a favor by forbidding him to attend any more Browns games. Let's be honest, the Cleveland Brows suck! It's usually a miracle when the team sees any post season action. With that aside, the guy did look like a fool getting body-slammed by a pro linebacker, but it sure gave me a good laugh. So I have to thank him for that. You would think seeing that clip of himself over and over again on the news would of been punishment enough, the embarrassment and humiliation factor. However, a judge says he wants to see the Browns fan rot in jail...well at least for Super Bowl weekend he will rot there.

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Random Act Of Kindness Will Continue

Yesterday I did a post about how I will spend the extra second of time I was given in 2006. Well actually everyone has 1 second added to their life this year thanks to the shift in the Earth's rotation. So I asked how everyone was going to spend that extra second and I went on to say how I was spending mine. If you want to read the full post, it can be found here. My blog always seems to die on Fridays. I think it's because we all have things at work to finish before we leave for the weekend, so I'm going to bring a little life to Friday posts by trying something new. I'm going to do a small update each Friday on how my new friendship with "Old Man Baker" (I've nicknamed him that until I find out his real name) is going. It may soon be what critics call "the feel good post of the week".

After I wrote yesterday's post, I put my plan into action and used that extra free second to say the simplest word known to man - hi. It took literally a second and as I learned, the small amount of time and effort it took to do this random act of kindness was a second well spent. As I walked down the street, the old man was once again outside his bakery sweeping aside a little snow and debris that covered his store's entrance. His back was toward me as I approached so I knew this probably was going to be awkward and I might need to save my hello for another day. However, footstep after footstep closed in the distance and with a single smile and a simple "hi", it brought the old man's world closer to mine. He had turned around in mid sweep and for the first time ever, I saw him look up. The old man's eyes were not clouded with cataracts, they actually had a little twinkle in them. He had a somewhat startled, but relieved look on his face that a total stranger had taken a brief moment to acknowledge his existence. He quickly put his head back down but not before replying with a polite and humble "morning sir". Sir? I'm a sir? I'm no sir. I'm still in my 20s! This man has 50+ years on me! Why do I deserve that respect?

If you think about it, it doesn't matter if a man is old, young, rich or poor. He still deserves some respect. I don't like the fact that if a world renowned surgeon is walking down the street and sees "Old Man Baker" outside in his tattered coat with a sweeping broom in hand, that the surgeon feels the old man is beneath him and won't say hello. Who cares if his coat probably costs less than your silk tie. Who cares if his wage is the same amount of money that many lay down for a coffee at Starbucks. Who cares if he is from another generation and the rest of the world may be up on today's news and have the latest tech gadget in their pockets, while "Old Man Baker" still uses quarters to buy his morning news and make his phones calls. He's a hard working man just like everyone else walking by and that alone entitles him to some respect, regardless if he carries his head high or holds it down low. Does it really matter if his life is so different than mine? Perhaps we aren't that different after all. I'm interested in finding out. I'm going to make it my own little personal mission to get to know this old man. Find out his name, where he's from, where his passions in life lye. Some may think I'm crazy for wanting to do this, but I tend to think others are crazy for not wanting to get to know someone that intrigues them. There is nothing more sincere than taking the time and making the effort to get to know someone and what a better way to get to know someone than just asking for the opportunity to do so. It all starts with a simple one second hi.

Maybe part of me also wanted to say hi to him because nobody else did and I felt bad. Nobody else seems to pay him any attention. Perhaps part of me worries that if something would happen to me financially and I wasn't able to retire at a decent age, that maybe I would become the very old man I see before me working a daily grind well into his 70s. I think I would want someone to acknowledge my existence. So perhaps just like in the movies, if you do pay it forward, then only good can come from it. Good will be in my future if I shall ever find myself one day in Old Man Baker's tattered coat. Good karma never hurts and a random act of kindness is always time well spent. My second is now officially used up and "Old Man Baker" and myself can both smile about that.

1 Second Added To Your Life, What Will You Do With It?

You know in that song "In a New York minute everything can change", well what about in a second, can everything change in a second? It's very little time to work with. It's here and gone in literally a blink of an eye. However, I think 1 single second is enough time to make a difference. So for me, yes, everything can change in a second. For those who have been under a rock since 2006 rolled in, the world has been given an extra second thanks to the first "leap second" in 7 years. It's a timing tweak meant to make up for changes in the Earth's rotation. So what do you plan on doing with that extra second added to the New Year, added to your life? Well I've been giving that some thought and today I will attempt to use it the best possible way I can think of using a second.

If you don't believe me that the world can change in a second, then think about this. It only takes a second to lose control of your car on the road and crash. It only takes a second to gasp your last breath of life. It only takes a second to lean in for a kiss and get those butterfly feelings in your stomach. It only takes a second to see your new born baby for the first time and fall in love. It only takes a second to pull a gun trigger and throw away the hopes and dreams of a teenager. It only takes a second to say hi.

In that short amount of time all those things are possible and believe it or not, I've experienced quite a few of them. I know what it's like to get hit on a motorcycle and see your life flash before your eyes in a spit second. I know what it's like to see someone gasp their last breath of life. I know what it's like to lean in for the big kiss and feel the butterflies. I'm fortunate to say I have never witnessed a teenager pull a gun trigger on his high school and I look forward to the day when I witness my first born for the first time and fall in love. So the only thing that leaves is a second for me to say hi and that is exactly how I've decided to use my extra second this 2006.

Every Thursday morning on my way into work, there is this little old man that sweeps up the street outside a bakery downtown. He is wrapped tightly in a worn coat topped with a threadbare scarf and knit hat. He never wears gloves despite the snow and frost lying on the very sidewalk he sweeps. The bitter cold air whips at his arthritis boned hands and they are dry, chapped and red. He keeps his head down to his work and away from the outside world and those that pass by him daily. He's hunched over and walks with a shuffle in his step. You hardly ever see his face, let alone into his eyes. I wonder who he is, what his life is like and what stories he could tell. I'm not sure why this old man intrigues me so much. I think it's the fact that there seems to be more there than what you see on the surface. For all I know, he could be a bitter senior citizen who hates his business, but is too broke to retire. Or he could be a former standout scholar from just down the street at Carnegie Mellon and he took over the bakery when his Mother passed away from cancer. Perhaps it wasn't his calling in life, but he wants to live out her dream. Perhaps I just think too much on my morning commute.

Whatever the case may be, I know I want to say hi to this old man. It only takes a second and it's how I want to spend my extra second in 2006. I don't know if it will make a difference to him, but to me it will. I don't care if he says hi back. I don't even care if he looks up or acknowledges my existence in the least. I still want to say hi. Don't ask why, I just do. It's something I can't really explain. It's something I just feel compelled to do. Time is a gift, even if you are only given an extra second in life. Do something compelling today with that second. Even if it doesn't change someone else's life around you, it very well may change your own.

Related post of interest...
07/11/05 1-Year-Old Teaches Me To Stop And Smell The Roses

Ass Xeroxing Is A Spreading Epidemic

If you are like most people, you attended some form of an office party over the holidays last month. For many it's a time when you see your boss and co-workers "true colors" shine thru as they appear in vivid form after...I don't know, say 5 cocktails. You may catch your shy IT guy running around with a lampshade on his head or the mousey front desk receptionist using a half empty fish bowl as a margarita glass. Then of course there is always either the most appalling or the most exciting part of the party - the time when people get bored and begin photocopying their ass on the company's Xerox machine. Ah, yes. Everyone knows what I'm talking about here. Either you have done it yourself or you know someone that has. Of course, there doesn't need to be an office party going on and you don't even need to be buzzed to partake in this activity. Some of the best Ass Xeroxing portraits have come on your average mundane Monday afternoon.

Office party photos are always memorable,
whether you are the guy holding the mistletoe over your crotch
or you are the lady photocopying her butt.
The memories are priceless and last a lifetime.

So raise your hand if Ass Xeroxing is a spreading epidemic in your office? I hope your hand is raised or you really do have a dull work life. I for one am guilty of photocopying my ass and various other body parts (except that part, I do have morals) at work on many occasions. I'm not sure if I'm really proud of that statement, but it is what it is. Hey, I'm an energetic person and if you trap me in an office for hours on end, I will get a little crazy when I'm bored. I've been know to participate and encourage others in said behavior. From back in the days of helping out in my HS office, to my college library, to my internship, to my first real job, yes I have made a photocopy of my ass, the side of my face, my hand and even my new tattoo to fax over to Mom. Sweet right? Ok, so maybe it's a little disturbing, but it was funny at the time and when one gets really bored, it takes little to amuse you.

Photocopier supplier Canon warned customers to take better care of their office equipment during the Christmas period, claiming that the festive season traditionally leads to a 25% hike in service calls due to incidents such as the classic backside copying prank. Such a stunt, a mainstay of the office party, often results in cracked glass on the copier. 32% of Canon technicians say they have been called out to fix glass plates after attempts to copy body parts went wrong. A Canon employee admits that they always fit lots of new glass to copiers after New Year's due to rear-end copying. In fact, Canon claims a shocking 46% of service calls are in response to non-work-related breakages.

In one case, a young lady had cracked the glass in mid-scan! She also jammed the scanner so that it wasn't until the machine was fixed that her colleagues looking on, all saw the copies of her backside pouring from the machine! Partly in response to this trend, or perhaps because of the "supersizing" of the western physique, Canon has now increased the thickness of its glass by an extra millimeter. However, one of the most alarming tales comes from a service engineer who claims he had to repair a machine with a photocopy of a man's groin jammed in it! We can only hope he meant it was the photocopy that was jammed in the machine. Perhaps an office identity parade is necessary to see who the guilty ass photocopying culprits are. Then they will be charged for the call-out service fees.

***UPDATE***
This is only Part #1 "Ass Xeroxing Is A Spreading Epidemic". More to come on this subject in the near future. Look for...
Part #2 "Introducing The Ass Copier 5000"
Part #3 "Man's Colon Cancer Death Blamed On Ass Xeroxing".