The Power Of Words

Written or spoken, words are continuously propelling us through life. They lift us up or drag us down. They wound us deeply or heal our hearts. Words have the power to break confidences, build life long alliances, or start wars. Words shape us both as individuals and as a society. Compliments. Criticisms. Introductions. Goodbyes. Words of love. Words of hate. Words you hang on. Words you easily dismiss. Words you never want to forget. And words you struggle forgetting. Words change worlds. That is the power of words.


We seek control over every single aspect of our lives. But when it comes to choosing our words, we often lose self-control. Controlling what we say, especially when emotions become elevated, is a problem most of us combat daily. Despite our best intentions, it can be difficult to refrain from saying words we know will only harm. Surely it is easier to harness the power of a wild horse than to reign in your tongue. To say the right thing at the right time, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

We may have the right to free speech, but speech is not entirely free. Whether we realize our impact or not, there are always consequences for what we say...and often consequences for what is left unsaid. The most damaging and life altering of all words is gossip. As my 91-year-old Grandmother recently said to me, "The biggest problem with gossip is you never know for sure who started it, why and when (if ever) it will end. It's a vicious cycle and there is little you can do to stop it or set the story straight because people will say what they want to say and believe what they want to believe. You're powerless." Powerless. If humans seek control over every single aspect of their lives, one word they don't want to hear is "powerless."

My Grandmother knows all too well the power of words. In 1945 she divorced, something that was unheard of in those days. Now living alone, she looked for someone to share laughs with and found friendship in another woman, a widow with grown children. The two became fast pals and were nearly inseparable! That was until a vicious rumor started spreading around her small town that the pair were more than friends. That they were a couple! Of course neither were lesbians. But those words devastated my Grandmother so much that she tried to escape by moving to a neighboring town and began slowly breaking off her friendship with "I'm sorry, I can't, I'm busy" excuses. Eventually the friendship died. And so did the woman. My Grandmother never told her what people had been saying because she didn't want her to feel the same hurt she did.

Of course years later the truth came out. There was never any rumor. My Grandmother's co-worker was simply jealous of the friendship she shared with this other woman and wanted to sever their ties. So she told my Grandmother that lesbian rumor was going around fully knowing how devastated she would be and that it would cause her to cut the friendship. Basically, she was played like a puppet. That is the power of words.

Words are things. Living things. Cut them and they bleed. The words from our minds or from others have the power to define us...if we let them.

Words are things. Choose good ones.