Phantom Pain

Is happiness only real when shared?

I proposed that question early this year after pondering over the age-old question: "If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, did it really fall?" Meaning - the objects of sense exist only when they are perceived.

So now I wonder once again. If happiness is only real when shared, does pain only exist if we permit it?

"Think of it this way...if you break a bone, the pain is so severe that the body actually numbs that limb in order for you to carry on. It’s the body’s natural way of coping. So if one endures enough emotional pain, it’s easy to see how you can become numb after awhile. It’s the body’s natural way of coping." - excerpt from my last post

I received an e-mail from Susan Pogorzelski of TwentyOrSomething.com regarding my broken bone/emotionally numb theory. Below you’ll see her insight was nothing short of brilliant and beautiful!

They say that amputees experience something called Phantom Limbs. That is, when they lose a limb, they experience the sensation (and unfortunately often pain) that it's still there, attached to the body. Studies say that it's related to nerves. Others say it's the brain remembering what was there and thus still reacting. Science aside, perhaps it's a reminder of what you've lost. Or perhaps it's saying that while something may be missing that we perceived was essential, we're still never actually incomplete - learning to compensate, to appreciate what you once had, what you do have. Maybe it's a reminder of all that you still have.

I think hearts work the same way. When we lose someone, no matter how that perceived loss comes about, it feels like a piece of our heart is gone with them. But they're still there with us. That Phantom Piece telling us that we're lucky to have loved them, known them, learned from them. And some of us are still lucky enough to love them, even if it's not in the way we imagined or necessarily wanted.

Whatever is missing, there's still some piece of it there. A reminder that you are in fact fully whole, despite what you think is actually missing from your life.

And whatever is numbed eventually comes back to life. That's the marvel of modern medical practices, in the instance of your broken bone analogy. You see it all around you - everyday in nature, in the seasons. Things become cold, frigid, due to the harsh conditions. Taking its time to heal and renew itself before coming back to life.

In some form or another.

So maybe we can do without, without actually feeling we are ever truly without.



***NOTE***
Related post of interest: 2/21/06 - When Words Seem Generic