I understand it’s almost 2011 and there is this thing called feminism which seems to have done our society both some good and some harm. It’s done good in the sense that it’s leveling out the playing field for women in so many areas that were once heavily dominated and controlled only by men. But feminism is bad in the sense that it’s seems to have made the process of dating not only painful, but highly confusing! Nice gestures that I once thought would be viewed as sweet and showed I’m capable of being a gentleman either go completely unappreciated or are somehow perceived as offensive.
Flowers go unacknowledged. Holding a door doesn’t receive a thank you. And picking up the bill causes many women to assume payment is expected in the form of a blowjob. (If I was looking solely to get laid, I would place you in the booty call rotation and wouldn't take the time trying to get to know you.) Whatever happened to recognizing that maybe he’s a nice guy and simply likes you? And whatever happened to letting nice things be done for you and accepting them graciously with a smile? When did sincerity and genuine kindness go out of style? Why is bitch the new black?
Women go on and on about how they love random acts of kindness. But if you actually perform such an act, the gears start turning in their head wondering what his ulterior motives are. Apparently, "my father taught me some fucking manners as a child" is an answer they have trouble accepting. The teachings started when I was young. One Thanksgiving I sat down at the dinner table with a baseball hat on. My father cleared his throat and glared over at me. Then without saying a single word, he smacked the cap right off my head. I knew right then and there that I needed to learn some fucking manners. No hats at the table.
While at dinner, you should be interested in what your date has to say (or at least pretend you are) by putting your cell phone away. When leaving dinner, you should help her with her coat or offer your coat if she's cold. And if one day you see a beautiful stranger fumbling her shopping bags in the cold November rain while trying to hail a cab between 5th and 6th, you should step in and offer a hand and a whistle. Just don’t expect her to appreciate the fact that you went out of your way to show a little love. That you’re standing there in a three-piece suit soaked to the bone trying to make the life of a perfect stranger a bit easier. Don’t expect her to acknowledge that random act of kindness with a thank you, a half smile, or even a nod. No, that would constitute as manners and that would simply be asking too much.
So if you’re going to be rude, then I’m going to rude. I really don’t care anymore. I’m sick of caring. I do believe good karma exists, for other people, just not for me. For whatever reason, it never comes around. I put it out and it dissolves. Now before you label me or other guys like me a dick, take this into consideration...
Perhaps he doesn’t have a black hole for a heart. Perhaps he’s just been dumped on a lot lately and the cold and uncaring way he acts isn’t a defensive mechanism for his heart, but rather the result of a callused heart. One that is numb and ceases to feel much of anything anymore. Think of it this way...if you break a bone, the pain is so severe that the body actually numbs that limb in order for you to carry on. It’s the body’s natural way of coping. So if one endures enough emotional pain, it’s easy to see how you can become numb after awhile. It’s the body’s natural way of coping.
Oh, and if you think this post is about something much deeper than just some stuck up chick and a wet tie, then you’re absolutely right.
Also, I’m wearing a hat to Thanksgiving.
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