Puppies are cute. Kittens are cute. Most baby animals in general are cute. Some human babies are cute and other human babies...well, we just say are cute so we don't hurt the parent's feelings. As a society I think we throw the word "cute" around too much. Just yesterday I heard a girl call another girl's hair cute. Cute shoes. Cute dress. He's cute. She's cute. You look cute. It's all so cute, cute, CUTE! It's kind of sickening, but kind of cute too. There is even an entire website dedicated to too much cuteness - www.cuteoverload.com Now I hate to be a hater, but there are two things I hate in this world - cutesy pet names and singing children. Although this video has BOTH and it is by far the cutest thing I have ever seen or heard in my life, EVER! (Yes, even cuter than my Bulldog Diesel and me cuddling on the couch.)
So without further ado, I present to you...
The Cuppycake Song, sung by "A Real Life Cabbage Patch Kid"
You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum, Pumpy-umpy-umpkin.
You're my Sweetie Pie.
You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop, Snoogums-Boogums.
You're the Apple of My Eye.
And I love you so and I want you to know, that I'll always be right here.
And I love to sing sweet songs to you because you are so dear.
I can't help replaying this video over and over again. I honestly melt into a puddle of goo every time! Which is rather surprising because I usually find other people's kids to be annoying, especially ones that sing. But this kid is serious cute overload, to the point where I can barely stand it! I want to squeeze the shit out of him and smoother his round cheeks in a parade of kisses. I want to hold his sweaty little hand, skip to the nearest playground and laugh and play all day in matching white Beefy Hanes tees. Basically, I want to hangout with the "Real Life Cabbage Patch Kid" (in a non-creepy way obviously). He's just that fucking cool!
I. LOVE. THIS. KID.
Seriously, I want to adopt him. Can anyone help me make that happen, Xavier Roberts? My dog is a chick magnet for me as it is. So can you imagine all the girls I would get rolling with the World's Cutest Dog AND the World's Cutest Kid? We would have to fight the ladies off with cupcakes and gumdrops! I know, I know. It's wrong to use a dog or a child to pick up women. And you shouldn't throw perfectly good food at people. Blah. Blah. Blah.
***NOTE***
If anyone makes a comment about how fat this kid is, I will personally hunt you down and punch you straight in your suck hole. He has kidney problems and has to take steroids, which explains his dough ball-like appearance. Although even if he was just a chubby kid, I would still love every last pound of him. I should also note/confess that some girls are just so ridiculously cute sometimes that it causes me to inadvertently act nauseatingly sweet to them and a pet name may slip out. You may go vomit now.
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