The following post is extremely offensive in nature, mostly to women. I won't deny it, it's crass and it's vulgar. Upon reading it, you may find yourself appalled, disgusted and angry. More than likely you’ll completely disagree with what I have to say and strongly discourage my future actions. But...I hope you understand. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll forgive.
Never putting yourself out there, never caring, always safe. It makes for a very easy life. I think I want to take that road. No twists. No turns. No blindsided corners to navigate through. Eyes always open. Always conscious of your surroundings. No risks. No mistakes. Always safe.
It’s official. I'm returning to my manwhoring ways. Why shouldn't I? There are no reaping of the benefits for putting your heart out there, trusting in another to the point of complete vulnerability. You just get shit on. So from now on, I'll be the first to do the shitting. I'll fuck them over before they even have a chance to fuck me over. Turnabout is only fair play. And no, I won't feel bad for doing it in the least. I've learned the hard way that this is a part of life, so I might as well start playing.
My new outlook is I don't give a fuck about women because they don't give a fuck about me. From now on, in my mind, they are only good for one thing - getting me off. They can fuck me and then get the fuck out. I don't want to get to know you and I don't want you to get to know me. I'm not your boyfriend. I'm not even your friend. I'm just some guy you're fucking. A guy that uses you just like you use him. Afterall, you're going to fuck me over in the end anyways, so let's just cut to the chase and do the fucking up front. Then the rules here are clear. There will never be anything between us other than a physical relationship. I don't have feelings for you and I may not even like you. You're simply in my life because you're a good lay. You’re the equivalent of a booty call. That's it. And that's all. Now lock the door behind you on your way out.
Romantic, isn’t it? Hey, the truth hurts. And it’s time people start speaking the truth, start being honest. I’m being brutally honest here. I'm not using sex as a weapon. In fact it's the total opposite. I'm using it more as a defense mechanism, for my heart. I'm capable of having meaningless sex and feeling zero emotion or attachment after. That's the beauty of being a guy. Not a lot of girls can do that. Besides, I deal better being mad rather than sad. So it should be no surprise that I’ve turned ugly and mean. Documenting the sexcapades would make for very interesting blog fodder. Maybe I’ll write about it, or maybe not. I couldn’t even stomach reading that myself. Honestly, I’m hoping this is just a filthy phase and this too shall pass. Only time will tell. Although I can’t see myself being a manwhore for very long. It's not who I am anymore, nor who I want to be. But right now, I have to do what is right for me. And as odd as it sounds, this feels like my need?
Years ago when my "almost fiancee" and I broke up, it took me forever to get over her! I moped around for months, until my friends couldn’t take it anymore and forced me to go out with someone new. It’s standard guy advice, "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new." So I tried that. It failed. It was the only time in my life where I could barely get it up. Her attractiveness wasn’t the problem. I simply wanted my ex-girlfriend, only her. And the only way I could even perform was to picture her face. To pretend for just one hour that she wanted me the way I wanted her. Needless to say, the sex was awful.
Although this time around, it’s not like that. I was not in love, just heavily in-like. When girls have boy troubles, they sit around and eat pints of ice-cream. When guys have girl troubles, they go on a fuck fest. I know what the remedy is. So I’ll just jump right into it. Because I don’t have space in my heart to be sad.
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