WhatsHisName & WhatsHerFace

I think I meet a new person nearly every day. Sometimes not just "A" person, but multiple people. Groups. Men. Women. Foreign. American. Among all the meeting and greeting and hand shaking that goes on in our lives, a name is often lost in the mix. You stand, shake hands and introduce yourself. You listen and then you forget. Minutes later while talking to a co-worker, you are nonchalantly trying to weasel in this question..."yeah, you know...what's his name again?" Then you follow that up with the fake "oh that's right, how could I forget." The truth is, you forgot. And you're embarrassed to admit that truth. You know, just like you forgot old whatsherface. It happens. We all do it, some more than others. It's not a good thing, but now there is help! I'm going to help you eliminate "whatshisname" and "whatsherface" from your vocabulary by giving you some tips to help you remember that nameless face. With a little luck and a little effort on your part, following my tips just might help you save face as well.

Being able to remember names is a valuable asset in both business and social arenas. It helps you build an instant rapport with new contacts. Many companies place a premium on interpersonal and relationship-building skills, so name recalling makes a decidedly good impression on employers too. In you personal life, if you forget a girl's name, you might as well forget the 2nd date. They say (there is that infamous "they" again) first impressions are important. Although that may be true, first impressions aren't everything, but they sure as hell count for something! So if you can't even get the name straight, then things are not looking good for you my friend. Now let me help you fix that...

Be Interested:
Depending on the person you are meeting, this can be easier said than done. This rule however is simple. If someone interests you, you will WANT to remember their name and much about them. This rule is very true for me. If you spark my interest, I will be very attentive and it will show.

Verify It:
Unless the person has introduced himself to you, verify what he or she wishes to be called - a more formal or informal version of the name they like to go by.

Picture It Written On Their Forehead:
Franklin Roosevelt would imagine seeing the name written across the person's forehead. This is a particularly powerful technique if you visualize the name written in your favorite color of Magic Marker. I pick red.

Imagine Writing It:
To take step 3 further, neural linguistic programming experts suggest getting a feel for what it would be like to write the name. Move your finger in micro-muscle movements as you are seeing the name and saying it to yourself. The REAL trick is not to look crazy doing this!

Use Word Association:
Try to connect a person's name with a familiar image or famous person. Example...my name is David. So just think of David vs Goliath when you think of me. (kidding)

Use It Frequently:
Try to use the name 3-4 times during your conversation. Use it when you first meet, when you ask a question and in your departure.

Record The Name In A "New Contacts" File:
Top sales reps keep a record of new contact names and information, including where and when they met. Review it now and then, especially when you will be attending a conference or meeting where you may see these individuals again.

If these tips don't help you cement names like Joe Blow into your thick head, then I suggest you ask every new person you meet to wear a nametag around you for the rest of their natural born lives. Or, you can just call everyone "dude" to keep it simple. It's an enduring universal nickname right? Oh how the ladies will swoon when you call them dude. The song "Dude Looks Like A Lady"...there is a reason that was written - duh.

Muhammad Ali Was My Highlight of 2006 MLB All-Star Week

As you probably know, Pittsburgh hosted the 2006 MLB All-Star game and events recently. Baseball is my least favorite sport (too slow and too much crying in baseball), so in no way was I interested in shelling out $250+ a ticket for the game. Then add $50 for parking (no joke) and of course you have to eat and drink...so throw in an extra $50 for wining and dining on weak beer and stale hotdogs. Do you see why I passed on this "great" event?

However, I will say we have a very nice field to host the big leaguers - PNC Park. Of course, this moblog shot isn't of PNC Park. Instead it's a photo of the David Lawrence Convention Center that hosted the All-Star weekend festivities, including Fan Fest. Now that, I did attend and it was only "ok". The highlight - the sports auction where I placed a bid on autographed boxing gloves that were worn and signed by Muhammad Ali!

Backyard BBQ Grand Finale

This is a moblog shot I took over this past weekend during my "late" 4th of July party.

The bad news - it didn't photograph as well as I had hoped.

The good news - my friends and I still have all our limbs intact from playing pyrotechnician for a day. Three cheers for having 10 fingers! High-five.

Happy (belated) July 4th back to
all of those that wished me a good holiday while I was away.

Happiness, A Fine Aged Wine

It is often said "enjoy your youth because those good times won't last forever." However, people may think that the happiest days of their lives are when they're young, but a new study suggests that belief doesn't jibe with reality. The University of Michigan polled 540 adults in the 21-40 age group and 60+ age group. They rated their own happiness right now, predicted how happy they'd be in the future and also how happy they think others are in those age groups. The results were published in the "Journal of Happiness Studies", which is a delightful name for a scientific publication. The results overall, people have it wrong. They believe that most people become less happy as they age, when in fact this study and others have shown that people tend to become happier over time. Not only do younger people believe that older people are less happy, but older people believe they and others must have been happier "back then". Neither belief is accurate.

People often believe that happiness is a matter of circumstance. That if something good happens, they will experience long-lasting happiness. Or if something bad happens, they will experience long-term misery. Instead, people's happiness results more from their underlying emotional resources. Resources that appear to grow with age, much like a fine aged wine. People get better at managing life's ups and downs, and the result is that as they age, they become happier - even though their objective circumstances, such as their health, decline.

They say "the good die young", a saying well before my time. Growing up, I think I believed in those words. When I was 16, I honestly thought that I wouldn't live to see 18/19. Then after age 19, I somehow accepted the fact that I may live past my teen years. I have no idea why I thought I would die so young. For whatever reason, I believed that I would die a horrible and tragic death (usually traffic related) before the age of 20. It was just a "hunch" I had. It was something I made sure never to mention to my Mom for fear that it would upset her. Or that if I acknowledged such a morbid short-term future, that somehow I would give that vision life, which would mean the death of me. I realize that sounds very disturbing, even though today that vision is deceased.

Now that I'm a little older and I would like to think a bit wiser, I can see a future. My future may not exactly be in black and white. It may not be scripted out to the letter, but a vision is there. I can envision myself one day getting married. I can envision myself one day having kids. I can envision all those wonderful things and happy times I'm sure my parents envisioned in me the day I was born. And maybe I've watched too many movies or maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but I can't help but feeling a little moved when I pass an old couple holding hands or sharing a quiet moment together. I wonder if today they are celebrating 60 years of marriage. Even from a distance looking on, I can feel the close bond they share. It travels lightly in the breeze and flutters past my heart like a butterfly. And I'm a little envious.

As far as happiness coming with age, I can't attest much to this study given the fact that society would still label me as "the youth". I'm still the one pouring the red wine rather than watching it age on the shelf. I haven't sat back and waited for happiness to arrive. I've had to go out and get it. For me, happiness comes from many things, but mostly from within. I like to believe this study is true. That as the days and the years go by, that I'll only grow more at peace with my life. That I will no longer look to want or need things in my life to bring me joy. That I could sit on a park bench holding my wife's hand in mine and feel content. Maybe happiness really does come with age?

This may sound odd, but there are times when I love being young and there are times when I wish I could fast forward life. Fast forward to a place of content. A place that I think would find on that park bench. Finishing each other's sentences. Retelling one another the same stories we have both heard 100 times before, but somehow we don't mind hearing them once more. It's the way she tells it. The way I look at her and see that beautiful 25-year-old girl telling me that story for the first time, on a first date, 60 years ago. How I loved to listen to her then. How I love to listen to her now. She's like a fine aged wine, and we are only getting better with time.

It's 2070 and I'm happy.

Chic Geek

Vogue most likely would not call this look elegant or stylish. It wouldn't be deemed fashionable, nor would it be considered sophisticated among well-dressed young executives. However in the geek world, some may see this as uber-cool and label it as "chic geek". When it comes to black tie events, many geeks find themselves out of their element. While the rest of us often look forward to social outings, geeks dread the thought of having to become a social butterfly for a night. A geek would rather sit behind a PC staring at code than mingle among a crowd. His goal list doesn't include introducing himself to that breathtaking vision who is sipping wine across the room. A geek's party goal is more likely about brining some geekdom to the event. Something that says...I'm here. I'm a nerd. Get use to it.

When one geek was invited to a black tie party, he attempted to put a little chic in the geek by creating his own cufflinks out of Ethernet connectors and wire. Thus the crimp-your-own cufflink was born. He's has detailed instructions on his mod so that other geeks can follow suit. Personally, I wish nobody follows suit on this. D-O-R-K-Y. I have a wedding to attend next month and I can just imagine if I were to wear Ethernet cufflinks on my tux, my date would slap me silly and disown me at the reception. And it would be well deserved. However, if you like this type of chic geek, then here's the Ethernet Cufflinks How-To Guide.

Fuck

***WARNING!***

This post may contain a naughty word or two.
Reader discretion is advised.

Whenever you hear or use the word "fuck", you probably realize the social implications the f-bomb carries, but do you ever wonder about the possible legal implications of the word itself? Probably not. Although maybe now you will. At least one Ohio State University student's curiosity got the best of him when he decided to write a 78-page college paper on the word fuck. Fascinating, right? Christopher Fairman has published a scholarly paper called "Fuck". It's as simple and provocative as the title suggests. It explores the legal implications of the word fuck. The intersection of the word fuck and the laws pertaining to the word fuck. It's examined in four major areas: First Amendment, broadcast regulation, sexual harassment and education. Now that's fucking deep!

The legal implications from the use of fuck vary greatly with the context. To fully understand the legal power of fuck, the non-legal sources of its power are tapped. The visceral reaction to fuck can be explained by cultural taboo from drawing upon the research of etymologists, linguists, lexicographers, psychoanalysts and other social scientists. Fuck is a taboo word. The taboo is so strong that it compels many to engage in self-censorship. This process of silence then enables small segments of the population to manipulate our rights under the guise of reflecting a greater community. Taboo is then institutionalized through law, yet at the same time is in tension with other identifiable legal rights. Understanding this relationship between law and taboo ultimately yields fuck jurisprudence.

Too many big words in there for you? Well let me keep it simple then by summing this up and throwing in a 4-letter word. Read his f-ing paper, maybe not all of it, but at least scan it. It's pretty interesting. Hard to believe someone took that much time to research something as simple as a cuss word. In particular, take a look at Chapter IV Section C "Genderspeak and Workplace Fuck" on page 50. You will learn how to properly use phrases like "fucking idiot" and discover who says "motherfucker" more - men or women? Fascinating literature indeed! Read it all here, Fuck.pdf

Related past post of interest...

• 10/18/05 The Usage Of The Word Fuck
  

That was alot of swearing on my part. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go say 7 "Hail Marys" and 5 "Our Fathers" to cleanse my dirty boy mouth.

Hey Mon, Back & Ready To Blog...Kinda

Ahhh. Nothing like a spontaneous week long vacation in the islands to rejuvenate your mind, body and soul. It was a rather last minute trip, pretty much unplanned with no agenda. The only thing on the itinerary was to relax and have some fun...put a giant checkmark beside that! Aren't those the best kind of trips? The ones where you fly by the seat of your pants and just explore as you go. Seven days and six nights (may have to check my math on that) where I unplugged and isolated myself from the world. I'm not one of those crazies who feels the need to get a little office work done while his toes are buried in smooth mounds on white sand. No, if I had my cell phone with me, I would of thrown it into the Caribbean upon the first ring. To me, vacation time is a time to escape. A time to getaway from "normal life" and live the life of a beach bum...minus turning your surfboard into a makeshift bed to sleep on.

This will come as a shock to the editors of "High Life" magazine, but people can visit Jamaica and actually enjoy themselves without hitting the bong every 15 minutes. I stopped counting the number of times I was offered a hit when it went into double digits. Random Rasta dude: "Hey mon, you wanna party?" I think I'll pass this time around, but I'm sure you will ask me again in about 5-10 minutes from now. Stoners and memory lost go hand-in-hand, in case you didn't know. So yes I did pass on the great abundance of fine marijuana they had readily available, but I did sample plenty of those delicious brownies - yum! (Kidding.)

Now that I'm back, I've brought home with me a nice nutty brown tan. A little glow across my face from the rays. A little hop in my step from the R&R and most importantly, a big smile on my face to remind me why I work so hard. It's life's little pleasures. Being able to get up and go at any time and not having to worry about the size of my wallet, something that was constantly on my mind during past travels. Being able to set my own work hours that embraces spontaneity. It's a freeing feeling. Jamaica doesn't have the mental stimulation like a visit to Paris would deliver, which by the way is on my travel to-do list. However, the idea of a trip to Bob Marley's homeland was to let my brain fry. Not fry from drugs, but fry in the warm sun on a beautiful beach. Not a thought or a care in the world. You gotta love that! Hmm, remind me again why I returned home?