If You Want PS3, Then You Better Be Packin' Heat!

Be afraid of a nerd, be very afraid! Unlike normal people, you know the "cool kids", nerds don't fight if their girlfriend is in danger. Nerds don't fight for their girlfriend because nerds don't have girlfriends. Nerds don't date. Nerds are busy at home masterbaiting to Lara Craft. Nerds are camping out at their local Best Buy for 3 days straight to get their boney hands on the highly anticipated new PlayStation 3 gaming consol. By nature, nerds aren't fighters. The majority of nerds aren't hostile creatures. When shoved into a gym locker, they have the tendency not to come out swinging. They will stand there with a sweaty jockstrap on their face in silence. However, say the magic word...PS3...and the maylay begins! Nerd on nerd violence breaks out. Robberies. Shootings. Stabbings. Beatings. You name it. It's all done in the name of the PS3.

In Hartford, Connecticut two armed thugs tried to rob a line of people waiting for a new PS3 to go on sale early this morning - one man was shot when he refused to give up his money. In Sullivan, Indiana a man is in critical condition after being stabbed when he and a friend tried to rob gamers of consoles they waited 36 hours in line to buy. In Fresno, California gamers were arrested after a riot ensued when Wal-Mart opened their doors to PS3 customers. The huge crowd of people trying to rush into the store led to many being trampled in a parking lot. If you actually made it into a store and bought a PS3, you would hear stories like this...

A shopper was surrounded by 5 men and beaten for his new PS3 just minutes after he bought it. And if you made it to your car with your new PS3 in hand, teens would approach you carrying chains and tire irons, demanding your console as you were unloading the box in your trunk. Other incidents around the nation included people getting stabbed over the PS3, store employees being held hostage at gunpoint and drive-by shootings.

Nationwide, short supplies of the PS3 and strong demand led to long lines of buyers, some waiting for days outside stores. Only 100,000 units were available in Japan when the PS3 went on sale there about a week ago. In the States, just 400,000 units. Once the doors opened Friday, they pushed and shoved their way to the shelves to get at the limited supply. The new PS3 is such a hot item that many people bought one just to turn around and make a profit from it, selling it on eBay. The retail price of a PS3 is $600 and the going price for one on eBay is, get this...$9,000! Yes, the price of a Kia car.

If you didn't get a PS3, then congratulations because you are probably free of bodily harm this weekend. Sony says they will have another shipment out before Christmas. This Monday, Nintendo will release their new gaming console, the Wii. It's expected to retail for $250 and hopefully people won't be getting killed over it. Just to be safe, I suggest you strap on your 50 Cent bulletproof vest and slip your glock in your sock. Nerds - go hard or go home.